Dear Bladder
I wrote a complaint letter to my bladder recently it went as such:-

Dear Bladder

You and I have been in partnership for a number of years and although initially your work was on time and regular I am finding that lately things have been slipping.

For example, I required your services yesterday and although the output was flowing, it was not complete. Just when I thought you had given me everything and the paperwork was finished, you decided to add just a little bit more. Have you any idea of the embarrassment that you caused me!? This kind of behaviour seems to be happening more often than not and is completely unacceptable. When I ask you to do your job I expect it done in full without extensions of any sort.

Hopefully moving forward this will prevent us being caught short and prevent the frequent usage of pants. I have considered outsourcing some help in the form of Tena Lady however I think if we agree to work more together we could prevent this.

Yours truly

JellyBelly

Bladders response – Piss off.
(JellyBelly JellyBelly, Wed 8 Sep 2010, 14:15, 5 replies)

I also
have recently had cause to complain to the pee-balloon. More than once, it has declared itself empty, only to leave me with a dot of shame upon packing the old fellow away.

This kind of thing isn't meant to happen for another 20 years or so. I no longer wear light coloured trousers.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Wed 8 Sep 2010, 14:34, closed)

No matter how you shake and dance....
...the last drop's always in your pants.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 8 Sep 2010, 15:24, closed)

Go and see your doctor!
You'll be pleasantly surprised at how helpful he or she can be.
There are all sorts of ways that bladders can start letting us down and treatment can be simple and quick.

I'm told.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Wed 8 Sep 2010, 19:41, closed)

Go see your Doctor
Do it today. Honestly, no messing, make an appointment now
(micmac is happy as a pig in shite, Wed 8 Sep 2010, 20:02, closed)

I'm a bit scared now!

(JellyBelly JellyBelly, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:19, closed)