Oh, it feels good! So it says...
When Helo was a very, very young Helo. The world was a bright and wonderful place, there was so much to see and do and he wanted to do it all.

So one day, it was your typical primary school boys toliets meeting (we were about 4-6 at the time) and some smart arse said that if you rub the bell end of your penis (paraphrased) it'll feel good.

Wow, could this possibly be true? Could this day get any better? Oh yes it could, young Helo has to go to assembly and sit in front of his school while the rest of his class gives a play. Young Helo sits at the front and gets rather bored...

But hey, what amazing bit of advise has just been departed to him? Off course! Play with his penis!

In front, of the whole, damn, school. All 500 of them.

So there I am diddling with one hand and the class "acting" in the background. Headteacher comes over, whacks me over the head with a piece of paper and drags me out of the assembly.

Cue parents meeting, teachers meeting, headteachers meeting and what's the best excuse young Helo could give? "It hurted..." This was swiftly followed by a distinct chop/chop sound and three weeks of pain followed by a slightly different looking diddiler..

Yes boys and girls, I'd been caught pre-emptively jerking off in front of my primary school at the tender ages of 4-6 (cannot for the life of me remember how old exactly) and then circumsticed for the fun of it. It still makes me cringe but not as half as my mum trying to figure out why...
(Helo, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:20, 1 reply)

Fucking Hell
How much more funny can this QOTW get?


That said:
'advice'
'imparted'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:52, closed)