The internet
Really, biggest disappointment ever.

I remember when I first heard of the internet. I was a youngen, probably about 9 years of age. I was visiting a friend of my parents' house. I played with their dog for a bit, shot a bottle of water with an air gun, played with their Sky box... I soon became became bored and restless. I wandered around, before discovering their PC, and they were kind enough to let me use it. "Have a go on the internet, m'lad."

The internet? What was this? I demanded an explanation, and so was given one by my older brother - The Oracle of Knowledge. What he described... it was incredible. This magical portal to... well, everything. Anything. You just had to tap a few keys and you could explore this Brave New World. I was intoxicated by the possibilities. Every computer in the world, joined together in a single community? People seperated by oceans, mountains, thousands of miles, able to communicated with each other with a few key presses in less than a second? Billions of pages of information, music, videos, pictures, books, news... all accesible through a small screen and humming box? My God. We truly had entered an enlightened age.

I had to wait for years, YEARS, before the parents were finally persuaded to allow us access to this utopian dream. I remember the day well: 12th March 2000. I woke up early that day, my excitement barely containable. My breakfast was eaten in a rush, homework scribbled through, pet food strewn across the kitchen floor for the cats... I was distracted to the point of insanity. The tension, the suspense... I sat, unable to concentrate on anything.

I eagerly waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Where was the BT technician? Where was he? I needed this! I had waited years! I wanted to be part of this Brave New World! This flipside to 1984 - a socialist paradise! Freedom of information, conversation, expression! It was liberty, true, true liberty. This would be a revolution for mankind, surely, and I had to be part of it - being excluded would be like living in an underworld of darkness and despair, cut off from human contact and never progressing beyond the most basic of human intellect and emotion...

Just as I had given up hope, he came (quiet at the back), he saw, he installed.

The internet! It was mine! MINE! The knowledge of all the human race, encased in thousands of miles of optical cable and thousands of magnetic discs - ALL MINE. My hands were sweaty when I sat down at the computer, and it took me a few minutes before I had the courage.... eventually, I clicked the 'Log On' button with shaky fingers, the modem crackled and hissed and beeped.

It connected.

...

8 years later, and where has it got me? B3ta, funny emails, and making lewd jokes over MSN.

Biggest. Disappointment. Ever.


Edit: I'd like to point out here that B3ta is, naturally, one of the few things that does make the internet worth it. I love you guys. :O)
( Matoosh would rather like a biscuit, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 16:20, 11 replies)

.
Don't forget porn.

Surely that makes up for everything else?
(Milo Minderbinder, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 16:28, closed)

I was trying to skirt around the porn issue...
If you bring it into the argument, then the internet is quite possibly human kind's greatest achievement.
( Matoosh would rather like a biscuit, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 16:31, closed)

-1
Don't forget online banking, paperless billing, the ability to find out the answer to nearly any question that crosses your mind, TV shows the BBC never seemed to want to bother to repeat and, oh yeah, millions and millions of Gigabytes of porn.

(Remembers when if you wanted to see a TV programme, you had to be sitting in front of the TV at the *same time* as someone up in London started the tape (or even when the people were actually performing for live shows))
(Richy_T hundreds if not thousands of dollars, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 16:35, closed)

Damnit
I'm going to lose on this one, aren't I? Curses!
( Matoosh would rather like a biscuit, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 16:38, closed)

More free music than you could possibly listen to in multiple lifetimes
Porn
mountains of information
Porn
Real time sports scores
more porn
Tv reruns
books
even more porn
the ability to buy useless tat while drunk
Did i mention the porn?
( Moonraker isn't the droid you were looking for, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 16:48, closed)

.
That's the trouble with having the sum of all human knowledge at your finger tips, you've got bugger all idea what to look for.
(Madam Cholet, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 17:16, closed)

And the kittens
The Internet is for porn kittens. It's the kittens that make the Internet worth having. I'll take a kitten over yet another young lady showing her bits any day.
(lolwhites, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 17:22, closed)

^agrees
I don't have to buy kitten calenders each year now I can have kittens at the click of a mouse.
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 17:44, closed)

I'm sure
You can even have kittens delivered to your inbox daily should you so desire

(resists making piss-poor joke about kitty porn)
(Richy_T hundreds if not thousands of dollars, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 18:28, closed)

I think this is the most appropriate link to include here...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVNjnyD38UA

(Sorry - couldn't find one with the original video, got the original soundtrack at least...)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 19:54, closed)

@Supreme Crow
At a guess, is that a video from Avenue Q?

I can't actually view it, but it just seems perfect
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 12:01, closed)