Hours Til Autumn
I work in a band when I'm not being a supermarket bitch. A rather good band if you're into 80s rock, and we work our arses off trying to be the very best we possibly can, looking for any opportunity to "get noticed" by someone, anyone, who might offer us useful contacts, or some work to further and better ourselves.

Recently our local radio station was running a competition that peaked our interest. The Prize? Only supporting Bon Fucking Jovi at St Marys Stadium! I'm pretty sure I got a semi at this point, thinking, "well, we've seen most of the other local acts and they're either far too heavy, or just plain shit. How could we lose!" Musician's Ego starts kicking in and we decide that if we give it our very best, it's in the bag.

So, we remaster and burn off one of our songs as a demo, fill out the paperwork and off it goes. The short-list of 5 acts would be announced about a week later. We could all barely contain our excitement, convinced that we had a very good chance of some airtime, and a fair chance at winning. For all we knew, this competition could be the thing that finally got us where we wanted to be.

Now we all know, with competitions like these there tends to be more rigging than a tall ships convention. The day comes, the short list is posted, I eagerly thumb the little wheelything to scroll down the web page, and after a second or two to absorb what I'm seeing, the fucking rage sets in. We weren't on the list. WHY THE FUCK NOT!?

So, being musicians we wanted to listen to all the bands that "made it", to basically rip holes in their stuff and find out how little musical taste or knowledge the judges actually had. The songs that were chosen were either boring, musically rubbish, poorly recorded and produced, or a terrifying mixture of the three. This is the crap they picked over us? Fuck's sake...

Over the next few days, beers were drunk, bands and radio producers/judges were slagged off, and we tried to console ourselves that we hadn't done anything wrong while we waited for the results of the public vote. We nearly laughed our arses clean off our spines when the band we thought was the least talented and suitable out of all five was picked as the overall winners! Well done music-lovers of Hampshire... you brought it upon yourselves!

Congratulations boys, you're a shit band, you know it and so do we, and you're way out of your depth! Our spies that attended the gig told us that in no uncertain terms they were the worst they had ever, EVER seen and had no place playing St Marys or anywhere else but the dingiest, darkest pubs where nobody with any self respect would have to be offended by their noise.

Perhaps you may think that's pretty harsh, but if you think women can be bitchy when they're upset, that's NOTHING compared to musicians. For anyone who gets curious, YouTube search the post title and you'll get some idea. I'm not going to plug my shit because that's not what the board is for, but suffice to say it would have gone down a damn sight better.

So, that's my biggest non-women-related disappointment. Losing out on what MIGHT have been one of the most important gigs to launch our career, or at least help, to a bunch of fucking monkeys. *spit*

Apologies for length and shit storytelling, but I'm not even sure how to make it funny...
(keyboardman, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 14:59, 14 replies)

Your rancour is pretty funny
and its a decently told yarn. Go easy on yo' bad self!
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 15:05, closed)

come on now
Post both band's songs
- yours and the ones that won and let b3ta decide...
( scoshi pretending to diet since, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 15:20, closed)

Nooooo
@ scoshi

noooooo lets not see the other band!

I just watched the you tube vids, and I don't want to risk seeing anything worse!
( RadG Drinking Mojitos in the sun, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 15:30, closed)

I don't have a copy of HTA's "winning" track...
But I think it's This One. Give them 5 years more experience and a decent recording and it wouldn't be half bad. But some of their other videos... urgh.

The one we entered with can be found here:

Draegon - Dead On Arrival

Of course, there's bound to be plenty of members here who are going to hate it... *mentally prepares for flames*
(keyboardman, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 15:32, closed)

OK
Fairs fair, your a lot better in the studio than you are live.

Bands fairly tight but the singers just gotta go. He can't. Sing, that is.
( RadG Drinking Mojitos in the sun, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 15:38, closed)

@ RadG
I'm afraid your comment's lost me a little... as far as I know my lot aren't ON YouTube o_O And our live sound is practically identical.
(keyboardman, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 15:42, closed)

@keyboardman
Being very critical, I'd say the following about your song:

1 - It's a bit dated, and sounds like a late 80s rock track
2 - The drumming's not as tight as it could be, and is lagging the beat at times.
3 - The singer's not the best.

Other than that, the production quality's good and I actually like the song.

I would agree that you're better than the other band too.

Just a personal opinion, from a fellow musician, albeit in a completely different genre of music.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 15:42, closed)

k2k6
Thanks for the crits :-) Incidentally we're SUPPOSED to sound dated and late 80s. It's our thing. It's an old recording anyway, spruced up and remastered a bit for the occasion. I think we'd only been together for a few months when it was laid down. Perhaps one day we'll re-do it!

By the way, did you name yourself after the Kurz board or is that just coincidence? ;-)
(keyboardman, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 15:45, closed)

WOO!!
You must be the only person to have guessed where my username comes from!

I have one of these beasts. Love it.

Buggered my back carrying it to gigs though :(

Edit - Re the 80s sound. In that case, you're doing a good job of it!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 15:47, closed)

aha
The other band were HTA yes ?

I thought the studio stuff sounded miles better

:)

Singer is still weak though
( RadG Drinking Mojitos in the sun, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 15:50, closed)

Their song ain't so bad - but it's hardly 80s Stadium Rock

You wuz robbed.
( scoshi pretending to diet since, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 16:23, closed)

Arrrghhhh
HTA on youtube are terrible......the drummer wasn't in time or anything! And the singer made me want to cover my ears.

I like your singer! I know some people above have complained but he has a nice unique voice. And you are definitely better!
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 16:32, closed)

I love the 80s
..and shouldn't Bon Jovi gig-goers too?

Incomprehensible.

Really like the track, by the way...and I have no problems with the singer, although you should be warned that I am a fan of Fish-era Marillion so tuneful isn't everything to me. I think your singer has a nice voice :)
(Holloway_Girl To err is to be human, to be a fool is to believe, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 18:59, closed)

We don't know what we're doing
At least you can console yourself that anyone who goes regularly to St Mary's is used to watching crap...
(Bowens, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 19:27, closed)