lump? What lump? Oh, THAT lump...
This one time, me and a mate thought it would be the pinnacle of sophistication if, at 3 in the morning after the "bender to end all benders", we stole a trolley from Tesco's in order to do some Jackass-style stunts. Well, 4 miles after pinching the trolley and running like hell, we happened upon a large slope in a grassy field. The perfect place. I volunteered to go first, and my mate launched me down in the trolley. I went from 0 to about 300 miles an hour in the space of 50 metres, and was literally shitting myself with fear at the realisation that tescos trolleys have no brakes. Shit. Still, my problems were solved when after about 200 metres of travel (impressive stuff) the fugging trolley turned itself over, throwing me out with considerable force. My arm started to hurt, but I thought, "Oh sod it, I'll be OK". The next morning, all anaesthetic from the alcohol had worn off. And my arm hurt like hell. Still, instead of biting the bullet and telling my mum how I actually hurt my arm, I decided to see what would happen. The day after that, I went to America for 3 weeks. After the first week, I had to go for an X-ray (at great cost, I have to say). Turns out I broke my shoulder in 2 places, and the wound was beginning to fester, because of fairly sever internal bleeding. How was I to know? I thought your arm went black after falling out of a trolley anyway. And the bastard Yank doctors wouldn't feel sympathy toward me when I told them how I did it either...swine. Still, looking back, it was the best 7 seconds of my life...
(shady_dave, Sat 4 Sep 2004, 5:19, Reply)