Wasp knob, nose smash, baggy balls
...separate incidents, all v distressing nonetheless.

Age 3, I was running around the garden and needed a wee, so popped out the peg to take a slash on a rose plant or something. Then a wasp appears, so I pee on him. He gets angry. He stings me on my winky. Right on the very end of my winky. Yowzer! I yelped, screamed, cried, sobbed all the way to hospital, where about a zillion doctors came to look at me like a freak show. Bastards. It went down and its ok now.

Aged 18, post exam celebration holiday, got massively drunk on the way out to Spain, where it was going out time when we got there. We didn't absolutley need more drinks at that stage you see, but first day of the holiday, what are you going to do? On returning to the accomodation some bright spark though we might go swimming, so we donned our trunks and headed to the *unlit* pool. Feeling pretty pleased (drunk) I jumped up and dived straight down - terrific pencil dive - into the pool. The shallow end. Hands slap the bottom, face follows -thunk- broken nose, blood everywhere. Nasty.
Following bleeding everywhere I was put to bed with tissue in my nose and woke up the next day naked with a morning glory - and my "mates" took pictures of me in this fine state which everyone has now seen. Girlfriends' mothers, grannys etc. Bastards. (The shame!)

A year or two back I had a motorbike accident - dumb bint pulled out in front of me and I slammed in the side of her car.
Going 20mph-0 in 5cm taking the brunt through the petrol tank into the nad sack leads to considerable swelling then saggyness. I had port wine coloured bruised balls for a fortnight. Not good for pulling!
(Rata-tat-atouille, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:08, Reply)