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Encounters with Royalty

My good friend Jonathan once had to entertain the Queen whilst she had her portrait painted. The night before he was panicking as he didn't know any clean jokes.

Have you met someone royal? Are you royal? We'd like your story...

(

chthonic, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 15:06)

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Frankly you 2
I've been looking at your pints, and they are both complete puffs.
(tinypod ......what is he good for? Absolutely nuthin'!, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:56, Reply)

Tinycock
That's a deal me old mucker. Let's fuckin' have it ;O)

(I like this. Rob et al, not at Heathrow are you, you big bunch of cowsons?)
(Fonkadelix is fucking bored, pass the crack pipe Mavis., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:55, Reply)

Oooh shit
There's 2 of them. I might be buggered here.
(tinypod ......what is he good for? Absolutely nuthin'!, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:55, Reply)

Tinypod, Fonkadelix
How long would it take you to get to Essex for a good, no bullshit, sparring session?

I can see it now - the day the b3ta fight club was formed... :-)

You. Outside.
(

dan j the filthy bastard, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:53, Reply)

Fonkadelix
I'm in fucking Newcastle you soft southern shite! Pity really, I'll 'ave yer next time I'm down there though.
(tinypod ......what is he good for? Absolutely nuthin'!, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:52, Reply)

Tinypod
where are you right now? I'm just off the bastard Kings Road, where all the posh wankers live, and really would love to have a good old fashioned tear-up.
(Fonkadelix is fucking bored, pass the crack pipe Mavis., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:50, Reply)

Howza bout
Wanksplash!
(tinypod ......what is he good for? Absolutely nuthin'!, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:49, Reply)

Pissflaps...
...never ceases to bring a smile to my face...
(

dan j the filthy bastard, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:47, Reply)

Weeeeee!
Could this just be a cunning plan to stop the inevitable "first post frenzy", and instead have "languishing last post...erm...ladybumps"?
(Discocat, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:46, Reply)

Titmonkeys
and Dogwanker?
(

no cake for the impuritay Patrick Stewart hasn't aged since, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:41, Reply)

In order to break the tedium
I was just wondering if any of you lot would fancy coming outside for a fight.
(tinypod ......what is he good for? Absolutely nuthin'!, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:40, Reply)

It's Friday...It's time for a
WOBBLY BOTTOM FRENZY!
(Fonkadelix is fucking bored, pass the crack pipe Mavis., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:38, Reply)

new QOTW
for snot's sake, get a foxburgering move on will you you bunch of catflaps.
hurry up hurry up i need a wee now
(happylittletulip cool, calm and collected once more, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:33, Reply)

I'm quite partial to
Raging fathead.

Although seeing the word "wankrash" further down made me giggle like a girl.

...or like a queen! Aha, you see that? you see what I did there? Just call me "cunning link to appropriate QOTW boy"
(Discocat, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:27, Reply)

You utter utter utter beast!!!!
That fucking shows 'em who's boss.
(tinypod ......what is he good for? Absolutely nuthin'!, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:20, Reply)

Miss FlatteredBaps
I see your culo and I raise you "Me cago en los cojones"
(Empress BobFossil Kneel before me and feed me smarties, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:20, Reply)

Nothing foreign can convey the total evil hatred of:
you fucking stupid ugly shit cunt.
(Fonkadelix is fucking bored, pass the crack pipe Mavis., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:19, Reply)

Wankrash
"Cock off you wankrash"
unbeatable.
(Bellamy's Enemy, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:18, Reply)

furrin languages are best
Dar candela por el culo, hijo di puta.
(Empress BobFossil Kneel before me and feed me smarties, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:17, Reply)

...
May your balls turn square and fester at the corners.
(Fishbone-didi, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:04, Reply)

Shut Your Festering Gob You Tit
.
.

Has always been my fav insult....
(Legless Internet Ninja - We Own The Net, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:03, Reply)

Hey!
Spunkbucket, why don't you fuck off and die.

Cunt

(I'm in a great mood today)
(Fonkadelix is fucking bored, pass the crack pipe Mavis., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 12:00, Reply)

Aww, thanks guys
you are all too kind, you fuckers.
(tinypod ......what is he good for? Absolutely nuthin'!, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 11:59, Reply)

Hmmm
Ploppy pants?
(Discocat, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 11:57, Reply)

twatscabs!
:o)
(Fishbone-didi, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 11:57, Reply)

Retro:
Sir, you are a man of no account! You are a second-rater.

Madam, your behaviour is shocking, I am outraged.

There I throw my gauge!!
(Che Grimsdale is now officially a Wise Old B3tard, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 11:56, Reply)

I wouldn't say you are a twat
More of a cuntpopple.
(Discocat, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 11:55, Reply)

Wow
I've started a trend. Shucks, looks like only some people think I'm a twat.
(tinypod ......what is he good for? Absolutely nuthin'!, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 11:54, Reply)

Oooh, swearing!
One vote here for "Wangflapper"
(Discocat, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 11:53, Reply)

errr.....
Bearded Clam
Vertical Bacon Sandwich
Topless Hand Shandy

Cunt
(Fonkadelix is fucking bored, pass the crack pipe Mavis., Fri 11 Aug 2006, 11:52, Reply)

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