Two pointless experiments
I've got numerous experiments that I've done that are completely pointless, like the old "What happens if I put an elastic band around my finger too tightly?" and "What happens if I put this pin in this socket?", but two just stick in my memory for odd reasons, so here they are.

1) A year back or so, I was intrigued by something someone had posted on a different set of forums I go on (GameFAQs UK board, if anyone cares), about an experience with their toilet. They called it reverse pooping. In essence, this is sitting on the toilet backwards, so you're facing the tank/whatever its called, whilst having a dump. Highly recommended by the way for any of you curious lot, as it feels good for some reason.

Anyway, my pointless experiment was this. Whilst mildly intoxicated, and whilst the housemates were out, I decided it would be great to try and eat dinner whilst on the can. One plate of beans on toast later (hey, I was a student, and drunk, what do you expect, Beef Wellington?), I was sat happily on the toilet, eating and crapping my brains out at the same time.

Only thing that was offputting was the smell, or would have been offputting had I actually got anything to smell with (my sinuses pack up regularly and its gotten to the point where I can't smell anything unless my head is shoved in it). As it is, its one of the few experiments I've pulled off that was actually successful.

Just remember to wash the plate and cutlery up afterwards with some sort of heavy bleach ;)

2) Trying to have a subtle meeting with Mrs Righty Palmer and her five daughters, whilst holding my breath. God only knows why I tried this, I think I must have been really bored or something to try and do this.

Fast forward a minute into the act, and I'm already seeing dark spots on my eyes. Fast forward 15 seconds, and I'm struggling spectacularly not to breath. Add another five seconds, and I've had to abandon the experiment, for fear of falling unconscious, falling off my chair and being found with my pants round my ankles, and my happy fella in my hand by my parents (I was 15 at the time) whilst possibly lying in a pool of population paste.

In conclusion, I probably shouldn't have smoked from about the age of 13 onwards as that contributed to my lungs being absolutely crap. And next time, if I'm gonna do it, to at least put down some sort of mattress to fall on if worst comes to worst.
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 1:05, 3 replies)

Ween's advice on this topic
Ween had the right idea, Don't shit where you eat
(danthegpi, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 4:53, closed)

Have a click...
For "population paste"

*applauds*
( snee held his breath since, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:59, closed)

What snee said

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 13:16, closed)