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This is a question How clean is your house?

"Part of my kitchen floor are thick with dust, grease, part of a broken mug, a few mummified oven-chips, a desiccated used teabag and a couple of pieces of cutlery", says Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic. To most people, that's filth. To some of us, that's dinner. Tell us about squalid homes or obsessive cleaners.

(, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 13:00)
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A friend Joe and his girlfriend
once moved into a council house in one of the more vibrant parts of the city. It came with quite a large, yet not the most salubrious garden which looked like it had been neglected for a long long time. The sort of morass where you joke about Japanese soldiers living in there who don't know the war is over. Because they were busy making the inside of the house habitable, the garden was relegated to the bottom of the to-do list.

One day they received a letter from the council telling them to get the garden sorted pronto as it was making the area look bad. Which is a bit like saying Peter Sutcliffe makes the inmates of Broadmoor look bad. Apart from opening the back door when they first got the keys, they hadn't ventured out there at all.

About a week after the letter arrived, they were woken early one morning by a knock at the back door. Joe went downstairs, opened up and was greeted by some scruffy bloke.

Joe: "Yeah?"
Scruff: "Just letting you know that I'm moving back in with me mam."
Joe: "What's that got to do with me?"
Scruff: "I just wanted to say thanks for letting me stay for a while."
Joe (perplexed): "I don't know what you're on about."
Scruff: "I'm just saying thanks for not kicking me out from me box. I'll take it wi' me and sling it in me mam's wheelie-bin if you want"
Joe: "Er.." and then it dawned on him. At the back of the garden was a large cardboard box, the sort that a fridge comes in, which had been there since they moved in. This scruffy, yet oddly polite and seemingly grateful vagrant had been living in there for who knows how long and had assumed that my friend knew and let him stay.

The scruffbag cleared off, taking the box with him. After Joe related the story to his girlfriend, she dragged him out there and they spent 3 days clearing everything out, chopping down the weeds and grass and getting a cheap temporary fence up.

So, if your housemates are excessively untidy and never wash up, clean the cooker etc, get a down-and-out to live in the cupboard under the sink.
(, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:06, closed)
Is this true?
It's a winner!
(, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:10, closed)
If you knew Hull
you wouldn't need to ask.
(, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:22, closed)
Orchard Park
or Bransholme?
(, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 16:50, closed)
could have been

Hedon road. Shudders at the memory
(, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 12:36, closed)

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