Obstruction!
My poor old man was/is a bit accident prone when it comes to generally making his way through life.

As a carpenter, my mother would get the phone call every now and then saying that he need picking up from hospital (finger tip sawn off, staple shot through thumb, fallen off ladder etc…).

Now my father is also what you could call ‘Dumpty-esque’. Years of deftly-crafted ale quaffing have given him an ovoid gunt. Because of this, his belly button started to pop out more then a vicar’s candelabra during choir practice.

In fact, he had developed a hernia in his stomach muscles, the sheer force of his gunt rupturing his once-svelte muscles.

This is when our friends in the medical profession managed to fuck up worse than Harry Redknapp’s accountant. After a routine operation to fix the hernia, my old man started to feel progressively worse over the course of a week.

His appetite dropped and he couldn’t shit for trying. He then began vomiting profusely and was feeling sicker than Fred West’s porn stash. Things got even worse though when he started puking up rancid black liquid.

It was at this point that my mother called the ambulance and he was rushed to hospital.

It turns out that the surgeon had managed to twist his bowel when operating, halting the digestive system firmly in its tracks. My dad had in fact been puking up his own shit.

I felt so sorry for the old bugger and he was close to death apparently.

Still – this is nowhere near as bad as the time my senile grandmother asked me to change her colostomy bag…
(Deskbound You insignificant speck of dust, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 12:40, 1 reply)

Fecal vomitting
Was described by a GP mate of mine as the worst thing he had ever had to deal with. Have a click for your poor old dad
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Mon 6 Feb 2012, 16:43, closed)