Mint!
I used to work in a secure area (no, not a mental hospital!), access to which was through a door directly behind me. Anyway, a guy comes in one day who had a reputation for having breath that could strip paint and a lovely complimentary habit of leaning in close to speak to you.

So, one afternoon I hear the door open and close, and then he's over my shoulder talking to me, whilst I fight the urge to barf over my keyboard. He finishes talking to me, and shortly after I hear the door open and close. At this point I start to rise from my chair and say in general to the room:

"Fucking hell!, somebody ought to tell him that a mint wouldn't kill him".

To find as I complete my turn that he's stood behind me fiddling with his phone!
( repooc, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 19:48, 4 replies)

You had to go to work backwards?

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 20:11, closed)

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 20:48, closed)

You know what I meant!

( repooc, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 21:28, closed)

I worked with a short.
I worked with a short Scottish woman, you'd have thought she was 60, we all did by her de-meaner, but she was 37, when she told us we were actually shocked, not in the polite, oh my goodness, but, fuck me with a smurf type shock. She would stand so close to you, with the most vile breath ever, about 2 inches from your face. Not shouting, not in a mood, it was just the way she was. Just asking a question about how to move a file on the server was disgusting. Oh and her constant grazing, and talking about food, that was disgusting.
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 3:08, closed)