Meeting new neighbours
Whilst gainfully employed at our local council many moons ago, I was issuing a receipt for a customer who lived on the same road, just a few doors down. I commented on our proximity and having recently moved in there was some decorating going on and not a lot of curtains. I joyfully informed him that I "quite like it looking unlived in - at least we are not plagued by Jehovah's Witnesses"
I think you can guess........
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 22 Aug 2012, 16:53, 16 replies)

He had the plague?

(TitanLX, Wed 22 Aug 2012, 17:26, closed)

Invite them in
Promise them you'll read a chapter of the Bible for every chapter of the God Delusion that they'll read. Promise them that you have pages of notes on the Bible. They'll never visit you again.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 22 Aug 2012, 19:26, closed)

We got some to come back twice.
The second time they brought reinforcements. They were perfectly polite until our Hebrew-speaking Israeli friend started to explain the flaws in some of their translations. Then they got a bit florid and mumbly and left. Finished their cups of tea first though. They're very well brought up.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Aug 2012, 19:45, closed)

I had some who insisted that Jesus was an angel
and I was ike, I'm pretty sure that he was half-God, half-human, like Spock in Star Trek was half-Vulcan, half-human, but I wasn't sure if that was what they taught them at the Watchtower, or if she was just an idiot...she brought her elders round to the house and it turned out that she was actually just an idiot.

But she did let me allow the idea of evolution into a child's mind who wouldn't previously have considered it, so I guess it's swings and roundabouts.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 22 Aug 2012, 20:03, closed)

I used to have a flatmate who was a classicist.
He was writing a PhD on Philo - a Jewish Platonist philosopher of about the first century, and apparently quite important in early Christianity.

Whenever the god-squad came knocking, he'd invite them in. He'd get down his Greek bible (he was fluent), and his Latin bible (he was nearly as fluent), and his Hebrew bible (a bit iffy, maybe - but good enough for his research), and his English bible, and he'd discuss the mistranslations and philological misunderstandings with them.

At great, great length.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 22 Aug 2012, 21:20, closed)

A mate of mine had a flatmate...
... whose father was a lay minister.

So the JWs would come in, say their piece, and A would sit back, listen, then rather theatrically polishing his glasses on his Slayer t-shirt he'd take a drink of his coffee, or tea, or beer, or whatever he was having, and systematically demolish every single thing they'd said.

Nothing gives you quite so much respect for a religion as someone who knows it inside-out and won't take any shite from the God-botherers.
(gordonjcp, Wed 22 Aug 2012, 22:59, closed)

Better yet, open the door naked.
With the missus behind you wearing a big strapon.
You'll either scare 'em off or fun times may ensue!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 22 Aug 2012, 22:13, closed)

sounds like
a chorus from a Kevin 'Bloody' Wilson song
(Big Smurf Brush me daddy-O, Wed 22 Aug 2012, 23:12, closed)

Ooooohhhhh, Yeeeessss!
"We're Pissed-Up Testecosticles, I'm Frank & this is Shirl."
I think is the line from "The Festival Of Life".

EDIT: You'll have to check - mplayer isn't playing nice today.
Chaps my chuddies that Shambo has me on ignore.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 23 Aug 2012, 0:00, closed)

I once did invite two of them in
they left the house with a copy of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, gob struck
( Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 0:17, closed)

We had a family of JW's as neighbours when I was a lad
It was a terraced house, and their back kitchen window looked out to our back kitchen window. My parents, either through some warped sense of humour or just to promote privacy, bunged up a Page 3 calendar every year on the kitchen wall they could see through the window.

The unexpected benefit we found later was that they'd told the local congregation not to visit our house.
(CharminglyShallow incarcerated for a crime he probably did commit., Thu 23 Aug 2012, 9:51, closed)

He'd just died of cancer?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Aug 2012, 19:42, closed)

They were Wee Free Kirkers?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 23 Aug 2012, 7:21, closed)

Violence occurred?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 23 Aug 2012, 7:21, closed)

They had a cat that shat in your garden?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 23 Aug 2012, 7:22, closed)

HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE BREASTS!?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 23 Aug 2012, 7:23, closed)