I found a human skull
when I was little.

Not in the ground, where one might find it reasonable, at least, for such a thing to occasionally turn up.

Not on a beach, where I suppose they might get washed up from time to time.

Not anywhere near a graveyard.

Or a museum, laboratory, hospital, university - places where human anatomy is legitimitely studied and parts of dead people are allowed to be.

No...

I found it in my dad's cupboard in a little room at the back of our garage which me and my brothers had been forbidden to enter. That little room held wonders and terrors for us when we crept guiltily in to explore its secrets.

We found dusty old slides which when held up to the murky window revealed ectoplasm and magical substances - mysterious colourful swirls and globules, great tomes of strange texts in tongues of the Devil with Satanic (probably) diagrams, vials of crystals which stained us purple, glass bottles containing alluring liquids - one which ate through smokily through the floor when we poured it out for closer inspection...

We had worked our way around the room, our eyes growing wider with each discovery. We were filled with rapture, awe and gleeful naughtiness... and then we opened the cupboard.

A hollow-eyed toothless grin gazed out at us.

It was if the very face of the Watcher Of Small Children Who Disobey Their Parents had manifested right in front of us. We screamed and ran as fast as our little legs would carry us. We didn't dare tell anyone. We lived in fear of that skull for a long time.

Years later I did tell our mum. When she stopped laughing she told me the room had contained my dad's old science stuff from when he was at university. The skull was a medical prop, and had belonged to nobody he knew.

It accounts for a lot though. I believe that experience probably shaped me more than any other of my childhood...

Parents - if you feel you need eyes in the back of your head to stop your children getting up to mischief, if you want them to do as they're told, scare the shit out of them and make them believe that they are being Watched At All Times by a terrifying omnipresent all-seeing personification of evil scariness.

Of course you'll have to live with their neuroses for the rest of your life...
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 0:26, 3 replies)

excellent
yes
(Ginger_Prawn, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 10:35, closed)

"scare the shit out of them and make them believe that they are being Watched At All Times by a terrifying omnipresent all-seeing personification of evil scariness."

So...take them to church?
(Musuko, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 16:35, closed)

If God actually
read the sermons personally and had his own Question Time afterwards where people could tug his beard to verify his authenticity, that might make kids believe in him...

Well-placed skulls are more effective in my experience :)
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 19:12, closed)