Going Too FarEver had one of your mates go too far? Back when I was a teenager I went to stay with a friend in the country. We took his dog for a walk in some woods - which was fun.
We came across a breeding pen for the local pheasant shoot - which was interesting.
But then my friend broke into the cages, grabbed a pheasant, strangled it and proceeded to throw it around, only managing to rescue it from his dog's jaws seconds before a gamekeeper turned up to see what the hell was going on. Now, that was a bit too far...
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chthonic, Fri 10 Nov 2006, 14:11)
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The Christmas Cracker JokeChristmas dinner - 1997.
Well, there I was eating my turkey and potatoes like every year when my grandmother who wasn't dead back then, asks me to pull her cracker. I mull this over briefly then decide that 'yes, I'll get involved'. So I pull and I win. Get in there. The little slip of paper with the joke on escapes and flutters down on to the table. I pick it up and then cough to demand silence. The table complies and I read the joke aloud: "When is a door, not a door?" I then pause, as I was once told by Tommy Cannon (from Cannon and Ball) that a comedic pause would accentuate the delivery.
Just as I'm about to drop the bomb, and deliver this pre-written comedy gem, my brother Algernon leaps in there and shouts "when it's ajar!!!".
How did he know the punchline??? That cracker was sealed? I came to the only reasonable conclusion - he had a time machine. Yes, that must be it. He had built a time machine and travelled into the future to hear me tell my joke, then travelled back and stole my glory.
Well, I'm not taking that!!! so I went upstairs to his bedroom and farted on his duvet.
(, Thu 16 Nov 2006, 18:28, Reply)
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