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Getting fit should come with a health warning, warns PJM. "In my pursuit of the body beautiful, I've broken three exercise bikes and two running machines, concussed myself and, most distressingly, bruised my testicles." And he's yet to try and get out of his contract...

(, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:45)
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Never train with your wife
I used to go to quite a posh gym with her indoors. She would do an hour or so on the cardio stuff and some weights machines.

I would do half an hour on the cross trainer watching the fit chinese bird in lycra with a thong on the stepper in front of me. Then I would do some free weights.

"Can I try the free weights" she asks one night.

Cue me taking her down to the "blokes end" of the gym. Knowing looks from all the other guys and a quick "sorry guys" look from me.

Got her comfy on the bench press, took up spotter position, standing with a leg either side of her head. She's only little and not very strong so I was being careful.

She lifted the bar with no weight on just to get the feel of it. Whilst I made sure I had a tight hold of it just in case.

I forgot to mention I was wearing shorts with the built in mesh pants.

"Eww, I can see your willy" said she...

Much sniggering was heard from the blokes who were all watching her.

At this moment my Tourettes Conscience sprang to life and before I could stop myself...

"Oh shut up you've had it in your mouth often enough".

She turned bright red and was never to be seen again down the "blokes end".
(, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 20:30, closed)

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