and then my mother knew...
I've been thinking all week about how to make this into funnies. It's not, it's just the most embarassing episode of my life so far and even writing about it is making me cringe. So apologies for lack of hummous.

My mother eventually found out about the wholly unsuitable boy (story) from my little sister. In hindsight, bit stupid to tell that motor-mouth about it, but I wanted to show off to someone.

Weirdly, hitting the roof didn't occur. Instead, I got the "i'm just disappointed" treatment, and dragged to the doctors the next day. Mummy didn't want to be GrandMummy just yet, so she set about procuring me the Pill. So far, so good, but for three points:

1. Anyone who's been on the Pill will know it's most effective when taken at around the same time each day. My mum took this advice, impressed upon me by the GP, rather to heart.

2. My mum is of the old-school who believe that every medicine is probably a bit dangerous and the effects of this can be cushioned by only taking drugs after a proper meal.

3. I've never eaten breakfast.

So 1 + 2 + 3 meant I had to toddle along to the school nurse's office every chuffing lunch time for two years. Past the rest of the school queuing for dinners down the same corridor.

Yes, my mother persuaded the school to dispense my hot-monkey-sex enabling tablet to me. Not only did the rest of my year assume I was the school bike (not so bad), they learnt quite how much of a "mummy's special soldier" I was too.

Might not sound so bad now, but imagine being a teenage girl. You're embarassed thinking of your own sex life, let alone knowing everyone else is thinking about it too.

To top it off my mother told this story to my first serious, living-together-n-all boyfriend when I was 21. Over dinner. Then asked him to administer my sexy-time hormones in future. Because I'm "a bit ditzy".
(bolshevette, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:02, 4 replies)

That's terrible
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:18, closed)

Lucky old you.
As above
(Redemption blamed it on the Bossa Nova since, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:20, closed)

How old were you
When you figured out you could have avoided all that embarrassment by just eating breakfast?
( evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 19:13, closed)

Oh poor you.
Clicky for pity!
(beaverwastemanagement a real company. I want to work for them!, Thu 17 Sep 2009, 1:19, closed)