...No paper or paper loaded incorrectly....
"Bollocks" thinks I. I can see an abundance of crisp white A4 sheets just waiting for Mr Printermabob to eat up and spit out covered in whatever bollocks my boss had requested."

I take the paper out. I put it back in. I turn everything off. I turn it all back on again. I check for errant stationary, staples, sandwiches and sex toys that might be clogging the feed mechanism: All fine...

"No paper or paper loaded incorrectly"

"STUPIDFUCKINGBASTARDCUNTPRINTER!" Quoth I

Right - time to check everything again...
Paper? Check
Nothing stuck in the printer? Check
Everything plugged in? Check
Correct printer selected? Check
A4 paper selected? Check
No flashy warning lights? Check

*PRINT*

"No paper or paper loaded incorrectly"

"FACKINGCAAAAAAAAAAANT!!!!!!"

I am now in a rage, the like of which has not been seen not since Bruce Banner stubbed his toe as he found his wife had upped and left while simultaneously receiving a rather nasty paper cut from the repossession notice left on his Honda Accord.

I helpfully informed TheBoss: "Its fucking fucked. Stupid bastard cheap shit printer you bought is officially bollocksed. You used it last - you fucked it. There must be something wrong with the paper feed. If you want that fucking list you just fucking have to write it out by fucking hand. And I'm too fucking busy trying to get this cunting thing to work so don't fucking ask me."

Two minutes later I found it was set for to A4 roll paper not sheet.

There is now a swear box in the office


Yeah, its not actually about IT support - so sue me
( TheMattInAHat has a particular... odour..., Mon 28 Sep 2009, 16:51, 1 reply)

You reminded me...I had a printer once *shudders*
Was going to reply but I think it's long enough for it's own post.
(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 8:52, closed)