help in the credit crunch times
as I casually strolled out of the tube station this morning (still admiring the arse of the blonde girl in front) I was almost accosted by a Big Issue salesman. Not a homeless person per se, more one of those chugger-types who dresses in charity shop knockoffs and looks homeless but is in fact claiming more in social handouts than I earn in a decade!

Anyway... this bloody state-handout financial parasite said "Step by step guide to surviving the credit crunch!"

AS IF I'M GONNA TAKE FINANCIAL ADVICE FROM SPONGERS FROM SOCIETY LIKE HIM!!!!

Here's a tip to surviving the credit crunch that we all know - live within your means, rather than spending constantly on stuff you can't afford! I'll donate to charity but I will NOT give money to spongers like that!
(Anne Frank started to build a loft conversion on, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 9:05, 15 replies)

Big Issue salesmen (and women)
are all vetted to make sure they're genuinely homeless or vulnerably housed. Hence why they carry ID. They don't sponge from society, they're selling the Big Issue to earn some money.

There are a lot of cuntish 'chuggers' out there working on commission, but don't tar the Big Issue lot with the same brush, they're alright. And the magazine is actually worth reading, I usually buy a copy.

Fuck off back to your Daily Mail.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 9:09, closed)

I used to buy the Big Issue
Until I realised - didn't take long, only a couple of, er, issues - that the quality of the writing contained therein was abysmal.

If I'm going to pay good money for something I expect some quality in return.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 11:56, closed)

Good grief.
I'd gone out of my way to be the most unpleasant person on b3ta, but - really - you make me look like a rank amateur. You might actually be the least likable person in recorded history.

I'm in awe. Would you be willing to give lessons in being an utter twat?
(Star Wars Starwarsy McStarwars Face, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 9:18, closed)

you are far too eloquent
to be the most unpleasant. Lose the punctuation, reduce the number of syllables and throw in some mistakes and you'll do better.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 9:26, closed)

Like this?
"m8 u dont no wot yur talkin about u must be gay or sumfink"

Better?
(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 9:36, closed)

much
good job

I suspect that the OP might not be a serious one though. More likely designed to provoke.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 9:50, closed)

You really are a bell-end, aren't you?
Jesus fucking wept.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 9:36, closed)

This has to be trolling.
I think you'll find that most people, even the most prudent, are only a number of missed paycheques from hardship.

A number of homeless people are actually ex-forces who tried to live within their means, but just couldn't adapt due to unrecognised / untreated PTSD. Some are ex-services who, after discharge, found themselves unable to cope with suddenly having to do everything for themselves, possibly for the first time in their lives. It's a sudden move from having *everything* done, or decided for you; back into civilian life, and not everyone can make the change.

Some people are too proud to seek help until it's too late. Some are failed by the healthcare system, falling through the cracks.

But they're all human. Their stories are varied, and if you ask nicely you might be priviledged enough for them to share theirs with you. But I'd imagine it's safe to assume that almost everyone who is homeless is not in their situation voluntarily.

I'm not denying that there are 'homeless impersonators' about. But the Issue, as already mentioned, takes steps to counter this.
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 10:07, closed)

Yep
The problems often run deeper than not being able to afford somewhere to live; for instance there's a much higher incidence of mental illness than in the general population. The problems aren't as simple to sort out as just getting them a place to live.

I've given a lot of homeless people a bed for a night or two in the spare bedroom of my old flat (added bonus: it massively annoyed my cuntish flatmate), they do often have interesting stories to tell and are as much people as the rest of us.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 10:11, closed)

May I suggest
a 'maximum of one exclamation mark per post' rule?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 10:21, closed)

It's a recession
Fucking credit crunch my arse :|
( snee held his breath since, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 12:42, closed)

Does each Big Issue seller
write the issues they sell then? I mean, if it was HIS financial advice you didn't want to take?

......
(surlygirl spanked your monkey on, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 13:35, closed)

Oh, I don't know
I reckon they've got the right idea.

Getting someone else to pay for one's lifestyle seems like a winner to me.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:11, closed)

I apologise!!!
so I apologise for my slating of "ALL" Big Issue salesmen.

I appreciate that not all Big Issue sellers ARE genuinely homeless (unlike the Romanian woman near me who hangs around outside what was Woolworths and actually lives in a council owned flat 3 doors away from Woolies!)

However, yes I will apologise for offending what looks like half of b3ta with the comments I made in the above post. Clearly my misunderstanding between genuinely homeless people, and the chugger-types was my mistake in this case.

I apologise for being such a cunt, and will return to my bookshelf in the attic.

(edited - reason because I am lysdexic and managed to miss out simple words that have now been added to articulate my apology)
(Anne Frank started to build a loft conversion on, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 18:25, closed)

Apology accepted...
...don't worry about it too much. You're bound to (accidentally) offend someone sooner or later; even if you only post lolcats, or the same picture of Hulk Hogan attacking NYC in response to EVERY IMAGE CHALLENGE EVER. Anyway, I enjoy occasionally having my viewpoint challenged.

edit: On careful rereading of your post, I think I see your points now (nae sniggering at the back): A/ You're hardly going to get phenomenal advice in a magasine with a circulation of about 12, telling you anything other than what is common sense. B/ There is slight irony in the combination of subject matter and vendor - a bit like a fat bloke selling diet tips, clearly too little too late.

Do I understand now?
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 19:07, closed)