Ah lube!
Decided once, in a rare moment of intimacy with now Ex Mrs Moondust, to use a bit of baby oil. Except we had run out, so I used Oilatum Extra Strong.

This is a particularly oily substance for pouring into baths, JUST A CAP FULL mind, to help reduce the effects of Psorisis or other flakey skin conditions. To which is does give dire warnings about "no undiluted use".

What a HANDFUL does to your knob is strip the skin off and leaves it feeling like you have had bleach poured on it, and your bawsack glow in the dark for days.
(moondust, Fri 21 Jul 2006, 9:57, Reply)

K-Y Jelly is good.
Baby oil is so-so. Sport massage oil, though, burns like FECK.

No wonder those athletes run so fast.
(Juan Quar, Fri 21 Jul 2006, 9:39, Reply)

"blood cut off by condom"
aledgedly well-hung boy has purple bell-end due to strangulation by condom? hahha... well, yes, but if you only have to roll it 2" down your dick, that's hardly surprising.

Same kinda guy who says "I can't wear condoms, they're too small for me" I love it when people spout that line of shit... It's a good excuse to stretch a condom over my HEAD and say "Goodness... I'm surprised you can even walk: Your dick must be bigger than your head!!
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed turned your mother down, Fri 21 Jul 2006, 9:15, Reply)

Constantly
but I like that sort of thing.
(dwf_II, Fri 21 Jul 2006, 5:27, Reply)

Itchty Nads? not like this
Must of been a year or two back i remember me and my mate were doing some bulding work on my old house as a 'chore' for my dad, must have been 18/19 at the time. My mate stayed at mine one night and i woke up real early (im a bit of a early bird) around 7am and i thought it would be funny to get a nice tile sized piece of wall insulator (the nasty , itchty , fiberglass stuff) and rub it into his balls.

I lifted the bed cover and slipped the insulating into his boxers and proceeding rubbing it in nice and soft into his groin (no im not gay and no , i didnt enjoy doing this but the outcome was well worth it). He woke up n hour or so later and i heared a rather loud 'you son of a bitch , im gonna kill you!'

he ungratefully showed me his balls and they looked redder than a freshly washed pair of cherries. Poor Git must have used 3 tubs of SudoCrém in a week just to stop the itching.
(Chaotic RagorA Whatever i type here makes me sound stupid :S, Fri 21 Jul 2006, 2:20, Reply)

Ps
I slipped down a tree and caught me knackers on a shard protruding branch.
Hence bits out being examined by parents in the back of the car a few mins later.
Bit of blood on the winky :(
Thank feck I was 7.
(tweebianmonkey Should be known as Widget, Fri 21 Jul 2006, 1:06, Reply)