Over? Thank F*CK.
I knew it was all over when my BF of 12 mths plucked up the courage to face me with the immortal words "I want to ask Desley to go out with me". Stunned, I pointed out that she's already HAD a boyfriend, and that until that moment, so did I. Meeting his nervous twitching, I told him to consider himself a free man.

One week later, he told me Desley had laughed at him and told him to run away home, and then this pathetic example of all that is clueless, ignorant, unfeeling in the male of our species then asked if I would get back together with him? He was genuinely amazed when I told him I earnestly hoped he was kidding, but he had blown his chances with me forever.

He responded to this in manly fashion by telling everyone who would listen in our circle of friends, that I had slept with someone else, in fact SEVERAL someone else's and that is why we were no longer together. Luckily, most of our mutual mates called him a nutjob and advised him to keep his jealous rages to himself.

Looking back, I am fervently glad it was his decision. His idea of a night's entertainment consisted of me arriving at his parent's place, waiting for him to have his shower (often waited on by his mother!!) before retiring to his room for a rousing session of sitting on his bed pumping a magazine of live .22 shells from the action of his rifle into a pineapple tin he kept under his bed for this very job, while he no doubt imagined my awed admiration for his skill. He would shag for two minutes, then kick me out and be asleep by 9pm. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT including weekends.

His mum also used to demand he bring home his cling wrap each day, and she would wash it with the dishes and hang it up on the cafe curtain rod to dry and be re-used again and again, until it was finally more holes than wrap, and would be replaced by a new bit.

When I look back, I thought he was so normal, until I really got to know him. I feel lucky to have escaped his bizarre universe before he went on to take up a position on a grassy knoll or bell tower somewhere. He had a raging hatred for asian people because his father fought in Vietnam, and considered his dad's standards to be his own. I still wonder when the day will come that I will see his name in the paper for all the wrong reasons. Still shuddering now. Urg.

Never apologise, and never volunteer. AMEN.
( Shazzoir Old enough to know better young enough not to care, Sun 24 Jul 2005, 10:51, Reply)