Someone once asked me to craft a letter to their councillor.
I became distracted by the thesaurus feature again...

Darling Mr Covert Badger-Forceps,

I am crafting this note to demand your hindrance in our tight spot. We are in quest of your relief in liberating ourselves from an extra igloo. Nowadays, we have a bedlam house, which is not supreme as we have threadlike offspring, some perils, crackling and pyjamas. The Martian yobbo cannot carve up our eiderdown with his twitching super-sirens and as a result is, at this moment in time, refusing to take a siesta on our couch.

The sheltering realms have assumed that we cannot cart off another abode until we can discharge our cleft debts. However, we are nice-looking and blasé towards redeploying our dynasty, as we cannot draw out with this parade.

We fancy hanging about with The Stranglers, but isolated from the secondary academy, Bogging Mound Crucial Drill, Bogging Boulevard, Mammoth. We refuse to accept that this is a first-class college, and would have an aversion to them prolonging their edification there.

We would be somewhat content if you’d chew our mess.

Yours Staunchly
Mr & Mrs Obscure
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 18:07, 4 replies)

THIS FOR THE WIN!!
After the first three lines I was crying with laughter.

I have no idea what most of it is about but it's BRILLIANT!!




*clicks like a clicky thing
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 21:26, closed)

Excellent!
It's like a 419 on acid!
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 0:31, closed)

Gasp gasp
I like the DVLA one better, but I still have to click hard.
(IChewCandlewax, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 11:50, closed)

This is brilliant.
Superb, superb, superb.

Like a more erudite Roger Irrelevant :)
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 13:42, closed)