Condoms.......the devils friend
I was seeing this girl back in the day who was a virgin, when she finally decided we could have sex she only had one rule....wear a condom, now back then I was not up for wear one and tried the 'your first time should be magical' crap but it fell on deaf ears. After the deed had been done I went to take it off and thats when I noticed....the top of the condom was missing !!!! not wanting to alarm the young lady and ruin any future sex we had I decided not to tell her. 2 days later I get a call from her Mum, the girl had went to the toilet and had her period (first after having sex) but on this occasion a rather large section of rubber looking goop came out, in a blind panic the girl runs down stairs in tears to tell her Mum at which point she rushes her to the hospital (they take the goop to show the doctor) at which point they are informed it's the top on a used condom. I never hear from here after this.........
(suntoucher, Fri 10 Dec 2004, 13:21, Reply)

LOST, stolen more like
I once lost a fine and hard collection of rag mags, which turned up in my dad's chest of drawers. Being 15 years old i couldn't exactly demand them back, and more to the point i was shocked with my dad choking the old gopher over my already sticky pages. Ugh.
(crimpalength, Fri 10 Dec 2004, 12:29, Reply)

Lost pink dildo
I was walking mthrough town one day and i found a dildo in the gentlemans bathroom problem was it was pink i thought why would men have dildos well pink dildos for that matter
(masuvu, Fri 10 Dec 2004, 11:47, Reply)

keys and teeth
My gran was pretty forgetful, and was forever losing her keys (amongst other things) - car keys, house keys, any keys. Being a kind and loving family, we bought her one of those 'whistle and I'll beep' keyfinders.
I think the poor machine must have beeped more often than beckham's mobile in the few weeks it was put to use.
Sadly, its beeping days were cut short when one day my gran was looking for her keys, tried to whistle, and realised she couldn't - because she'd also lost her teeth. Sigh.
(coderboi, Fri 10 Dec 2004, 10:54, Reply)

lost meself
...blinded by welders flash with patches on my eyes, i wandered out of the hospital and into the middle of a busy street. don't know where my friends were. an old lady pulled me aside and i spent the next two days listining to isaac asimov's foundation trilogy in that horrible steven hawking computer voice, drunk. quite bizzare but fun nonetheless.
(goorf, Fri 10 Dec 2004, 10:45, Reply)