don't do E, kids (unless you really want to, obviously)
a quick pearoast for relevance.

I was seeing a girl (we will call her S). I say seeing, I mean we were in a total clusterfuck of a relationship in which we only ever saw each other at one particular club on a Friday night (Escape in Swansea for anyone who cares), but talked on MSN all through the week. I had asked her out and she had said no, but kept stringing me along. Bullshit things like "I just want to be single for the moment but I really like you so let's keep doing what we're doing" and other things like that. It was really screwing my head up and I was starting to act like a real arsehole when drunk. This, funnily enough, also coincided with the short period I experimented with ecstasy.

This had been a good week (despite it following her kissing another guy the week before), and we were going to meet each other in the club. I went out with friends beforehand and got uproariously drunk and otherwise intoxicated, proceeding to tell the landlady of my local and her daughter that they were both horrible people and should be ashamed of themselves (they'd sacked a friend of mine for not working hard enough when she'd been in a car accident three days beforehand and was in a neck brace).

In short, I was pissed off and it was all coming out.

We went to the club about 11. I went inside, entirely off my face but still conscious. I looked around but couldn't find S.

So instead, I went onto the dancefloor, looked at the first attractive girl I saw, went over and pulled her. I am a cocky bastard when off my face (see previous dice story for evidence). I can't remember what I said but in my hazy memory it seemed to take about ten seconds between introduction and first kiss, which is possible if I was being a real fucking arsehole.

I stopped kissing her (possibly due to resistance) and turned around to see S, looking directly at me, shaking her head sadly. I did a kind of Fonzie "Heeeeeeeeeeeeey" at her, as if to indicate "Yeah, I'm a cunt, but whatcha gonna do?" She turned around and walked away.

I cannot remember any more of the night. I have in fact always told S that I can't remember any of the night at all, but I certainly remember that first part. The rest of the night included kissing up to four other girls, including S, who seemed to have a remarkable tolerance of my utterly ridiculous and cuntish antics and in fact told me of them the next morning. But then maybe she realised I really was off my face when I kissed a guy as well.



PS: I'm the slightly manlier-looking one on the right.
(cypherspace is not a toaster, Sat 18 Sep 2010, 0:59, 9 replies)

I for one
wish you luck versus your brother Ed in the Labour Leadership contest.

[I think I accused you of looking like David Miliband the last time this was posted too, you know...)
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Sat 18 Sep 2010, 1:05, closed)

you did
which is fair enough, I still have the same ears
(cypherspace is not a toaster, Sat 18 Sep 2010, 1:23, closed)

Haha
[for your comment, and in a nice way, like. Not a pointing at your ears and laughing way.]
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Sat 18 Sep 2010, 1:59, closed)

so
you kissed a boy and you liked it?
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 18 Sep 2010, 1:13, closed)

I can't remember
I might have done.
(cypherspace is not a toaster, Sat 18 Sep 2010, 1:23, closed)

That'll be a yes then

( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Sat 18 Sep 2010, 21:26, closed)

quick'n'dirty, but your sig....



( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 18 Sep 2010, 1:24, closed)

hahahahahahaha!
i'm a bit drunk, so this is greatly amusing me
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 18 Sep 2010, 1:27, closed)

The guy on the right
could pass as a woman from that angle.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sat 18 Sep 2010, 10:24, closed)