Following my rant about prescription changes from the last QOTW:
Here are some rather fantastic convos I've had with the same nurse at my "compulsory reviews"

NURSE: So do you know how to use your inhalers properly?
ME: Yes, I've been using them since I was eight.
NURSE: Oh. But can you show me? I have an inhaler here...
ME: Wait... Does that have blisters in it?
NURSE: Yes.
ME: So...you want me to double dose my medicine just to prove I can do something simple?
NURSE: ...yes?

---

NURSE: A lot of asthma sufferers have started using this medicine now. It works well.
ME: Is there something wrong with my current meds?
NURSE: No, I just thought you might like to try it.
ME: Well... what is it?
NURSE: I don't know. You use it alongside your normal meds and it makes them work better.
ME: So... it's a catalyst?
NURSE: What's a catalyst?
ME: Will it react with all the medicine I take, or just the asthma stuff? Does it have any side effects? What are the ingredients?
NURSE: I don't know. They gave me a wikipedia page though! Why don't you look it up and tell me what you think?

---

NURSE: Why don't you try this?
ME: I tried it when I was ten. I'm allergic to it.
NURSE: Oh. **pause** Well, why not try it again? If you have a reaction, just stop using it.

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(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 12:24, 6 replies)

Asthma
I had it from the age of 3 up until I was about 17 (coincidentally, about the time I started smoking). Years and years of inhalers, allergy tests, attacks, nebulisers etc.

On an annual visit to the 'specialist' when I was 16 or so, he turned to me and said (with total sincerity) "Well snee, you have asthma."

No shit Sherlock...
( snee held his breath since, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 12:29, closed)

I think this is all your fault...
you've being going to a chip shop instead like a right Fuckwitt!
(likeajackhammer, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 12:37, closed)

Ahh, the asthma check
Nurse: We like to do a regular review to see if you still have asthma
Me: Well, it makes a difference when I stop using my inhalers, so it's a pretty safe bet I still have it.

Fast forward through inhaler technique bit
Fast forward through new inhaler & tablets prescribed

Return visit six weeks later...
Nurse: Oh your peak flow is actually lower than last time

Wa-wa-wa-waaaaahhhhh
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Thu 11 Mar 2010, 12:40, closed)

Asthma nurses
are plebs. The amount of times I've been dragged in for a review and told the nurse my asthma is getting worse, just to be met with 'ah well, it's probably just the weather, you'll get over it'. It probably is just the weather, but it's not helping me breathe is it, you stupid woman with your stupid working lungs. Bah and double bah.
(Beacon, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 13:01, closed)

Brings back memories
I had one suggest I take up running to 'make it better'. Of course, I suppose that if I had collapsed and died mid-run, my asthma *would* technically have been cured. This was the same idiot who prescribed me an inhaler that's not allowed for use by people with heart conditions -- guess what I also have? Makes one wonder if he'd taken out a life insurance policy on me.
(louveciennes , Volvospotter, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 16:03, closed)

This isn't a complaint, but...
...every time I go to those reviews I end up getting vaccinated against something.

"While I've got you here, I'll just...."*JAB*
(floella, Sat 13 Mar 2010, 11:39, closed)