Oh
dear.god.

I feel for you, and hope that I never, ever have to do anything even remotely similar.
(dchurch bah, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:09, 1 reply)

Eight Words I Thought I'd Never Say.....
A few years ago, I was treated in Hospital for Acute Pancreatitis.

While I was smacked out on Morphine, I had a Catheter inserted.
I can't remember this, but remember being surprised to find a bag in a box by the side of my bed which would automagically fill up with urine without me even having to think about expelling it.

Eventually, [after almost 2 weeks since admission], it came to be time to remove the Catheter. So - the Nurse gets started, and it's clear, that because she'd never owned a penis of her own, that she's incapable of knowing how much this was hurting me.

I said the words, twice...

"Nurse, please take your hands off my penis."

Carefully and slowly, I began to remove the Catheter tube myself, without any further pain whatsoever. On final removal of the tube, the nurse inspects the business end of the Catheter and seems surprised at the congealed blood around the end of it....
(caescarna Hell's Roomba, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:38, closed)