The Good The Bad and the Ugly
At the beginning of last year I lost 3 stone in a very short space of time through illness, I had the most awful stomach pains to the point of nearly passing out a couple of times. I was practically housebound for a while because I was terrified of being stuck in a situation where I couldn't get to a loo quick enough.

Anyway, after a few visits to the doctor she decided to refer me for a colonoscopy. I was sent 4 packets of something called Kleanprep which basically cleans you out the day before the colonoscopy. If anyone has ever had the joy of Kleanprep you will know what's coming. I was told to drink one packet an hour until all 4 packets had gone, and when I read the instructions and it said "one packet makes one litre" I was a bit shocked. So the night before the appointment came around. I was terrified of the procedure but knew it needed doing so I got on with making my special drink. It honestly tasted like sea water and was the most disgusting thing I have ever come across. I managed to down the first litre fairly swiftly and then I just sat and waited.. and waited and then I got the first rumblings so off I went to the loo.

This went on for the whole night and by the time I was drinking the 4th litre just before midnight I was so sick of the stuff I burst into tears, Mr Sp@m brought me a lovely glass of lovely fresh tap water with ice to drink and I have never been more grateful for "council pop" (as we used to call it) in all my life. Eventually there was nothing left and I managed to get my head down for a few hours. Luckily my appointment was at 7.30am at the NHS treatment centre rather than the hospital, I got up had a nice cleansing bath and went on my way. I arrived in one of the nicest buldings I've been for ages, I was taken to a cubicle where a lovely nurse met me and we had a nice long chat about the weather, kids, grandkids etc whilst she filled in my forms and took my vitals. Then the consultant arrived and he came and sat with me for 10 minutes explaining absolutely everything to me about how it might feel, what will happen after etc and was absolutely one of the most calming nicest people I have ever met.

When I was wheeled into the room for the procedure I was still very nervous but knew I couldn't back down now. Just as they were about to dose me up with some stuff called Versed that makes you all woozy I hear the door open and a voice said "Ohhh I knew it was you Mrs Sp@m I saw your name on the patient list and I had to come and say hello" I turned around only to see my older sisters best friend who used to babysit me when I was little. At first I was incredibly embarrassed but then I remembered she probably used to change my nappies when I was a baby so I brushed it aside and waited to be "woozyfied" while she went off do some nursey stuff that nurses do. It was brilliant stuff, I can remember the bit where they blew some air up my bum to inflate my bowel, that hurt a bit but other than that it was fine! Afterwards I was given tea and toast, all the lovely nurses kept poking their heads around the curtain and asking how I was and the consultant came and gave me the good news that everything was clear! Hurrah. I went home feeling tired and I was a bit farty for a day or two but other than that I didn't know what I was so scared of.


So when I went back to visit my gastro consultant and she told me I would need an endoscopy to check for Coeliac disease I thought it would be a breeze. I fasted for 12 hours and went off to the big hospital because the lovely treatment centre was fully booked for ages (I now know why) I arrived on a dank miserable looking ward and was told to "sit in here till it's your turn" then a woman came and took my vitals and didn't even look at me let alone speak to me. My name was then called and my little mum gave me a hug and told me she'd be waiting there for me.

I strutted off to the room with all the confidence in the world. The nurse said "Lie there" and pointed to a bed she gave me the lovely medicine and shoved this big blue plastic thing in my mouth and asked me "Is that comfortable" I shook my head as something didn't feel quite right but she just came straight at me with the endoscope and down it went. I began to panic, and I mean really panic as the blue plastic guard had come lose and it felt like it was scratching the back of my throat. I tried to put my hands up to ask them to stop for a second but they thought I was going to pull the camera out so they pinned me down to the bed. Eventually it was over and I was wheeled into a side ward to come around and I began to sob like baby.
I cried and cried so loudly because I was scared and not one nurse came to see if I was ok. The lady in the next recovery bed asked if I was ok (I'd struck up some banter with her in the waiting room) and the nurse told her to ignore me as I was having "a moment". Eventually I was told to get up and go get a drink and something to eat. I was still very woozy but I was made to walk to what smelled like an old smoking room where an out of date sandwich and a cup of tea were chucked my way and a nurse just said in broken english "you eat then home ok" but at least she actually gave me a friendly smile and rubbed my arm to reassure me. I took one drink of the tea and burst into tears again and asked for my mum (so what I don't care if I am 31 I wanted my mum) she came in and I sat for ages crying on her shoulder and I told her that my throat was really really sore and when I was discharged I was told that was normal. A few hours after being at my mum and dads (I went there so I could be pandered to by my mum a bit more) the pain was really unbearable so I got a torch and had a look at my throat and there was a huge graze down the back of it that looked like it had bled quite a bit. After a few days it did get better but I do have a little scar. The biggest scar though is the emotional one.

The two experiences could not have been further apart, I can describe every feature of the NHS treatment centre, I can remember the face of the consultant in great detail but I remember nothing of the faces of the people of the big hospital just the horrible waiting room and ex smoking room.

Anyway, it turns out I had gastritis and I have quite a nasty case of IBS which is now diet controlled and life it much more awesome.

It's my longest post yet! (oh and the ugly bit in the subject line refers to me :D )
( Mrs. Spatum, Sat 13 Mar 2010, 22:27, Reply)