Arsecrack
Where there should be a crack, there is none. I come from a greek backround, so that makes me about 95% hair. One of the hair folicles near my crack decided to become ingrown. I needed 2 surgeries to get rid of it. Now the area is flat with a scar where it used to be.

And it's gone all numb as they had to sever a nerve to get rid of it. So if someone poked me, I can't feel it. It's especially annoying as if it gets itchy, I have no idea if I'm scratching it or not.

I really wish that story was more exciting.
(silentnick, Sat 3 Jun 2006, 15:55, Reply)

I lost the Microchip that was embedded in my molar.
:(
(the_infamous_trench You tricked me, Mr. Crab!, Sat 3 Jun 2006, 15:32, Reply)

I once stubbed my toe on the sharp brassy bit of my portfolio
at least I thought I'd only stubbed it... looked down to see I'd managed to tear my little toenail off.

And my appendix is not in fact removed despite the fact it went all funny. couldn't operate on it cos the whole gut got inflamed, and if they'd tried to remove it I'd now have a little plastic friend taped to my belly

And when I had one of my molars out, I put it on a silver chain around my neck.
( same as yours, but on fire will explosively decompress on, Sat 3 Jun 2006, 15:25, Reply)

very recently
got a little too drunk and decided to stay at fellas house as it was closer. Always refuse to jump the chicken-wire fence that cuts out some distance to his house, but, in my state i agreed. Got home only to notice i was missing the top of my big toe :(
(Legs 11 last got some loving on, Sat 3 Jun 2006, 14:57, Reply)

Thatblokeoverthere
My mate Nobby who lives in Swindon has no spleen. Don't know how he lost it, whether it affects him or anything really, nor whether he would respond to a poster.
(tinypod will never learn. Ever., Sat 3 Jun 2006, 12:51, Reply)

my mum had her gallstones out,
she didn't really lose them though, as my dad has a penchant for encasing things in resin. They are now in a paperweight at his house, along with my sister's wisdom tooth.
I try not to so much as shed any skin anywhere near him.
( Whythebigpaws?, Sat 3 Jun 2006, 12:32, Reply)

Nearly lost the top of my finger
Making a cheese sandwich when very drunk. The very sharp knife slipped off the cheese and slammed into my finger going in about halfway. The best part of the story is that when I was having surgery to sew it together the anasthetic did not work due to my pissed up state.
The end of your finger is one of the most sensitive parts of the body and I could feel the needle going in and out as the gaping cut was closed.
I tend to have a high pain tolerance now as nothing has since compared to what I went through that night.
( Terry Oblong There's nobody here but us chickens on, Sat 3 Jun 2006, 12:10, Reply)

My ex-father-in-law had a nasty habit...
...of trimming his "verruca" with a pair of scissors in front of the telly. I had no idea what he was on about, until I too picked up a wart on the bottom of my foot.

Late one Saturday night about two years ago I got sick of this thing, so decided to remove it with a bit of home surgery. A dozen beers provided anesthetic, and my trusty pocket knife and a pair of sharp scissors were all the surgical instruments I needed. I did pour boiling water over them first in the hope of sterilising them, I'm not a complete idiot.

Using the pocket knife I dug away around the edges until a fibrous tube-shaped mass came away from the skin and hung free. The thing was attached by a fairly substantial (to me, anyway) blood vessel, and pulling or twisting the thing wasn't doing anything but cause me pain. So, I grabbed the scissors, pulled it out as far as I could, then snipped the fucker off. I packed the (bleeding) hole with cotton wool and taped it all up, then sculled another beer and went to bed.

Two years later and it still hasn't come back. Still, I don't recommend it to others - my current wife went ballistic the following morning when I told her why I was hobbling about.
( Udderbelly A tale of four titties, Sat 3 Jun 2006, 9:11, Reply)

Bubbles
For about a day after the wisdom tooth came out, I could blow bubbles through the hole left behind, from my sinus into my mouth, but no one took up my offer to watch me perform my new skill.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Sat 3 Jun 2006, 6:19, Reply)

I cringe to type it, but...
We've all heard fingernails on the chalkboard. Done correctly, they reduce the finest of men to sniveling hairy sacks of viscera and excrement.

My friend decided to see if teeth on the chalkboard had the same effect.

He approached the slate and scraped his incisors downward. Clutched his mouth, ran from the classroom - a few seconds later, cue a muffled yet blood-curdling screech from the gents.

Left on the chalkboard was a thin straight white line. Of his tooth enamel.
(ZugZwang refuses to update his profile., Sat 3 Jun 2006, 4:13, Reply)

Parts I've parted with
- adenoids
- tonsils
- four wisdom teeth
- portions of both ovaries
- half a thyroid

My doctor has told me to have my gallbladder out, as it is currently housing a pet rock, but I'm not anxious to have more parts yanked. I'm fond of my parts; they're what I'm made of.
( Shiksa, Sat 3 Jun 2006, 2:52, Reply)

Give 'em the finger
Many moons ago, i worked with this guy who only had a thumb on his right hand.
When i asked him he told me he had lost them at an earlier job. He worked as operator of a water-saw. For those not in the know; it's a machine that sprays water under huge pressure through tubes and they use this very highly pressurized water to cut sheets of iron.
One day, the machine broke down while he was in the middle of a sheet of iron. As one does, the idiot started pulling and pushing the sheet without turning the safety on, which resulted in the machine all of a sudden switching back on again, cutting off all four fingers on his right hand.

He proceeded to tell me that he had sued his employer, resulting in him getting a 100.000 bucks in compensation, which he spent on a 10 month booze-cocaine-expensive restaurant-classy hooker bender.
(Bokbiertrol, Sat 3 Jun 2006, 2:10, Reply)

Bang
I have broken the same tooth twice. First time, i walked back home after watching a ska-band at a local music venue. having consumed about 12 pints of lager, i was none too stable, and therefore sought support by my sister, who kept me walking for most of the way home. After stumbling along for 15 minutes, we almost reached my house and i stupidly assumed i could walk the last 200 metres home on my own. After 3 metres i lost my balance again and smashed my face straight in a bottlebank, thus breaking the right of my front teeth.Dentist had to replace the missing piece with a (very nicely constructed, i must add) plastic tooth.
3 or 4 years later, i attended another gig at above mentioned venue. Later walked back to another bar to have a nightcap. About 10 nightcaps later, got my bike and started trying to get home. Got on my bike, rode it for about 5 feet, then fell off and smashed my face on the sidewalk. Friend proceeded to call cab in order to get me to his house. Went to the dentist again a couple of days later and found out that the piece that had broken off this time, was a piece of the plastic replacement that had been installed in the previous incident. Lucky me.
(Bokbiertrol, Sat 3 Jun 2006, 2:02, Reply)

I *nearly* lost my eyelid
when i was about 9. I was having a play fight with my mate at school and he thought it would be a great element of the game to take advantage of the fact he had put me to the ground and leap, knee- first, onto my skull!
He pushed my forebrow through my eyelid and it was held on by a strand on each side! I could see through my eyelid! Wooaah!
Cue blood and going into shock. Best bit was puking all over my most hated teacher! Result!
(RiderOfRohan high:mid:low, Fri 2 Jun 2006, 21:09, Reply)

my mum sliced the end of her finger off
with a scalpel. She was in the middle of working so the just put it back on and stuck a plaster on it.

Only she put it on the wrong way round. It healed fine, but now her fingerprint has a triangle rotated round in the middle of it.
(teasus likes tea, Fri 2 Jun 2006, 20:53, Reply)

Not quite Tom Cruise
but my friend has just had her bubby, and she kept the placenta. Yup... in a bag. And here's a rather NSFW image of a bloody, veiny mass of flesh, muscle and whatever a placenta is made of:

www.dudeintraining.com/USERIMAGES/DSCF0809.JPG

Don't look at that while eating, guys and girls.
( Bats, Fri 2 Jun 2006, 20:51, Reply)

I have no Coccyx
it was fractured and twisted and stopped my legs working so it was cool when they took it away. I did ask for it in a jar (like my wisdom teeth that i still have) but they said no. I don't have an appendix either but that seems to be dead common, and I asked for that in a jar as well but apparently it was in pieces... some people are no fun.
(nutttywings is living on the edge until, Fri 2 Jun 2006, 20:42, Reply)

He smells great!


I was taking care of a man who had lost his nose. The docs had grown a replacement for him out of his own forehead (now that was gross) and reattached it to his nose-stump. I was cleaning the stitches of dried blood and mucus and chatting away with him. I told him it was going to look so much better now and he told me he'd had a plaster on it so as not to scare his 7 kids. I asked, "How'd you lose it in the first place?" He blushed and admitted he'd been in a bar fight and "some asshole bit it off."

"Well, why didn't they just sew it back on at once?"

In this tone of utter and passionate outrage, he answered: "The motherf*cker SWALLOWED it!"



And-- I had a tumor in me tongue about the size of a lima bean and painful, so the doc wanted to sedate me, then take it out under general. I don't do sedation since I am so filthy-minded I make Brian Blessed seem angelic and without any brakes on my tongue (haha) I'd probably ask the cute anesthesiologist if I could blow him.

So he did it under local-it was the coolest thing ever! I could feel everything, but without pain. I could feel the scalpel slide through my tongue, the forceps rootling around in there, the rasp of the tendils of tumour riiipping free... It sounds gross, but it wasn't. I'd love to have an operation like that--to feel everything without any pain.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Fri 2 Jun 2006, 20:11, Reply)

afFDSGgpioag[
;as jgwph j piobp'wih alskvja ;oiehon ailsudfau ailsu ai glawaifg aliwef oiuwat pnvp bnkzx,cvnbawoi upwaoguh a[wpriohgads a; hp;awoigh awoiughg[awojgh a[ougha[wrojg a[wough ajlfsddslfa;la a; ;l nia [

EDIT: Sorry about that, he lost his fingers.
( Lightguy hail satan, Fri 2 Jun 2006, 19:29, Reply)

The ladies of London sigh in relief.
I bit through the end of my tongue when I was a nipper. The last inch or so at the end was hanging off by a tiny strip of flesh and flapping around disturbingly. I was sent to the school nurse and inspected and sent away with nary a pat on the head, just the advice to 'keep still for the rest of the day'. (Easier said than done for an eight year old.)
Sure enough by the time I went home about five hours later it had healed up. Amazing.
(Mr Steve is jobless and fancyfree!, Fri 2 Jun 2006, 19:13, Reply)

testicle
not to fun that
(fwack bang on it, Fri 2 Jun 2006, 19:05, Reply)

Oh dear
Lost my dignity and a vast amount of bodily fluids after 3 major Pilonidal sinus operations, which the nurse did actually fit her fist into. Took a whole year to heal did the last one.

Huzzah indeed.
(Amers the Great, Fri 2 Jun 2006, 19:01, Reply)

Kidney
I only own one kidney. I didn't lose the other - it just didn't rise in the oven of my mother's womb. Which is nice.
( Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 2 Jun 2006, 18:24, Reply)

*Sniff*
There goes my sex life
(donkeysoup Was last seen on, Fri 2 Jun 2006, 18:22, Reply)

Lost forever
alcohol+blokes+back garden with concrete edges+me trying to prove i can kick their arses at Ruby even if i am a girl=one lost tooth, right at the front too.

My dad also has no knee cap on his right leg from a skiing accident and it's held together with pins and plates. He'd only been on the slopes for 10 minutes.
(kitnel it's probaby infectious, Fri 2 Jun 2006, 18:10, Reply)

Well it's not really amusing...
and technically not about losing a body part...


so I won't bother telling the story.
(wonderbrawl was pronounced dead on, Fri 2 Jun 2006, 17:32, Reply)

Finger + door jamb
Back when I was about 12 I used to go to cub scouts so I could earn the various badges for skills that I'd never use and so on. Anyway one evening we were all lined up for woggle inspecting or some other dubious sounding business. I'd kind of drifted off and somehow managed to put my fingers in the hinge side of a door in the wall behind me.

Anyway, up comes the scout master and quickly pulls the door shut, cutting off the end of one of my fingers in the process. Cue one journey to casualty with me holding my arm in the air for absolutely ages. In casualty they stuck the end back on with some kind of medical sticky tape and bandaged it up with some material which was supposed to not stick to the mending flesh - two weeks later when having it taken off I discover that in fact it does stick very nicely and have to have lots of little bits of my under-nail flesh snipped with tiny scissors. Which was nice.

Anyway, photos of my deformed finger:



Apologies for length, deformity. Back to lurking and finals.
(qwrx, Fri 2 Jun 2006, 17:29, Reply)

Not me, but my Dad
Dad thought he had a dodgy lawnmower 'cos kept cutting out if you let go of the safety switch. After much explaining that that was what it was supposed to do, it being SAFETY switch, Dad decided to bypass it and some how made the bloody thing be on permanently (could only be switched off at the wall).

Now Dad's front garden had a raised concrete path down the middle. Cutting the grass in the Spring was safe enough as he pushed the mower over the concrete, but come Summertime bedding plants were growing down the path's edges.

Well, Mr Bright Spark thought that to save him time going into the house to switch off the mower before he lifted it over said path HE'D LIFT THE SPINNING MOWER TO ABOUT WAIST HEIGHT!!!!

So that was Yorkshire's first attempted auto-testicle-ectomy. Much screaming and fainting later (and that was just my Mum) he was rushed to hospital to find the family jewels amazingly still intact but he'd buggered up his thigh something shocking.

Doctors in A&E made some joke about if he'd really wanted a sex change he could have just joined the queue like everyone else.
(Dozey Oates is off to Merkinland soon (:, Fri 2 Jun 2006, 17:29, Reply)

Reading these posts
is making me lose my mind.




That is all.
(insanegl0ss saw the grass on the pitch..., Fri 2 Jun 2006, 17:27, Reply)

benny. bring me everyone.
Worked in the booze trade for a few years, did a relief at a rogh Leeds pub. One of the regulars used to get pissed and challenge non-regulars to a hard man competition. Banging your scrotum as hard as possible with a pint glass. Saw this happen to more than a dozen people before a bar girl pointed out to me that he had a rubber testicle, a memento of a military accident. He also used to drink his own urine, unprompted, and then offer to drink other peoples as well...
(jameslib, Fri 2 Jun 2006, 16:56, Reply)