I went to a nativity once
It was a few years ago:

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So there they were, Mary and Joseph looking awfully chuffed with the miraculous baby snuggled up in Mary’s cleavage. They had barely finished cleaning off the placenta and vaginal goo when King Herod smashed down the door. He looked fucking livid, “Bugger, the brat from the prophecy has already been born!” (Yep, he sounded like Hugh Grant)

Joseph had heard of this bastard’s murderous intent towards any newborns so jumped up ready to fight, hoping that Mary could escape with the baby. But Herod quickly had him subdued; Joseph now doubled over had no energy left to resist the brutal assaults of Herod’s 12 inch gnarly wand.

Still unsatisfied King Herod moved on to Mary. She had been unable to escape very far due to the passing of what felt like a small house through a mimsey as tight as... well as tight as the Virgin Mary of course! But her constant whining about pure love and forgiveness was a massive turn-off for Herod. So he dispatched of her with the most almighty pimp slap this world has ever seen.

None of this went down very well with baby Jesus. Herod had just killed his mum (and some random prick pretending to be his dad). He hit Herod with the Holy Flying Head butt. The King’s head exploded and baby Jesus was left with a scar on his forehead for the rest of his life.

He went on to perform many miracles and save the world from eternal evil and darkness, what a nice chap!

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I think that is pretty much how it happened, I get confused some times.
(Fluffy_Giblets, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 16:54, 1 reply)

Yeah, that sounds about right.
Still, I think it was pretty cheap to stop the bible after only seven books.
(mariam67, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 0:09, closed)