Depilation fail
A while back I was seeing a girl in Hull, and used to stay over at weekends for a bit of nudey prod. Once, when I had the Monday off work, I was still in her boudoir on the Sunday night, but with one thing and another she'd neglected to shave her pins since the middle of the week, meaning various parts of my body ended up getting grated and red. I was too much of a gentleman to complain, but the extra friction was obvious, and she sheepishly promised me she'd "do something about it" in future.

Fast-forward a few weeks, and I'm back at the horizontal jogging but still getting scratched raw, so in as diplomatic a way as possible under the circumstances, I reminded her of her previous pledge.

"Urr, nurr", she replied in her endearing East Yorkshire accent, and explained that she'd switched to a depilatory cream, as the beautician who lived next door had told her it would have a longer-lasting effect. Sadly, she'd had a bad dermatological reaction, and her skin had gone all rough and torn, with little bits sticking up all over the place like hangnails. "Just can't win", she complained. "First it were me stubble, now it's these bloody Nair burrs".
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 16:17, 3 replies)

Haha
That was Punderful
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 16:19, closed)

never try to immac your minge
just don't.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 23:58, closed)

I feel sick
Good pun, but I curse you for that revolting image.
( Scrumper, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 11:56, closed)