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This is a question How nerdy are you?

This week Gary Gygax, co-creator of Dungeons and Dragons, died. A whole generation of pasty dice-obsessed nerds owes him big time. Me included.

So, in his honour, how nerdy were you? Are you still sunlight-averse? What are the sad little things you do that nobody else understands?

As an example, a B3ta regular who shall remain nameless told us, "I spent an entire school summer holiday getting my BBC Model B computer to produce filthy stories from an extensive database of names, nouns, adjectives, stock phrases and deviant sexual practices. It revolutionised the porn magazine dirty letter writing industry for ever.

Revel in your own nerdiness.

(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 10:32)
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This question is now closed.

I collect
Circuit boards, i actually find them quite sexy...
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 11:33, 5 replies)
I design theme parks
I think I am the biggest nerd of them all!

Yeah, I really have nothing better to do.
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 11:31, Reply)
I'm quite geeky.
I can program in VBA, C++, PHP, and (this is the one I'm particularly proud of) ASM.

I got my first computer when I was 6 - it was an Amstrad PCW with BASIC on it and I spent every spare waking minute writing programs for it.

I love Red Dwarf and Star Trek.

I once wrote my own operating system - it was crap though. I think I was about 14 at the time.

I have built a hard-drive based MP3 player that used Linux for my car - that was also crap, and unreliable, so I just bought a generic 1Gb solid-state thing instead. It works much better.

I've completed Final Fantasy 8. Twice.

I work with computers all day, including maintaining legacy Quickbasic applications.

I use Linux at home.

I have my own server, just for running BitTorrent so I don't have to leave my PC on.

But then I also love camping, motorbikes, beer, girls and music, so I suppose I'm not THAT bad...
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 11:30, 1 reply)
Well I'm on this bloody site....
Aren't I?? Nuff said.
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 11:28, Reply)
The Police Have No Sense Of Humour
Not me but a nice young policeman who came to my house to take a statement after me and a couple of mates had been jumped. On the way back from the pub we'd been discussing when we were going to go see The Phantom Menace, which had just come out, when we were attacked by these drunken guys. One of my mates got a key stabbed in the back of his head so the police became involved. Anyway, I gave him my statement and he was about to leave, we were standing at my front door, me smoking, him waiting for his partner to turn up in the squad car. As with all dealings with the police it was mildly terrifying in case they suddenly start asking about the hidden folder called 'Barely Legal' on your hard drive. Or why a lot of your CD's and DVD's have shoddy covers and the title drawn on in felt tip.
"So did you get to see the new Star Wars film then?" He asked amiably enough.
"Yeah, bit rubbish really." I answered.
"Yeah." He agreed sadly then quickly looked around to see if anyone was in hearing distance before saying: "I play Star Wars role play."
"Oh?" I said, having no clue what the proper response to such a statement is.
"Yeah, I don't tell the lads at the station though obviously."
I laughed and then a few awkward seconds of silence passed.
"I'm a jedi!" He suddenly said proudly.
"Cool." I lied. "Everyone likes lightsabers." I added, desperately wanting his partner to turn up.
"Oooh." He said, sucking in his breath, suddenly very serious. "Bit of a touchy subject at the moment."
"Well you have to play for ages before you get your first lightsaber. I'd just got mine and then it got destroyed when the Death Star blew up." He said before turning and staring towards the (single) sun wistfully.
Having no clue how to respond to his anguish and hepped up on nerves at the situation I tutted loudly, shook my fist and said "Oooh those bloody rebels!"

Honest to god, from the look on his face I thought he was going to arrest me.
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 11:27, 5 replies)
I can:

quote Star Wars (original trilogy, none the crap new ones) verbatim. I also used to know everything by Monty Python off by heart.

I have my own "scale of plausability" for when I'm watching '24'.

I have a "scale of implausability" for when watching 'Lost'.

I know modes inside out (but I used to specialise in singing early music, so that's par for the course).

I've played the Star Wars Lego Game on PS2 3 times, and am still not tired of it. I also play 'Ico' to revel in the beauty of its design.

I am slowly but surely building up a collection of recordings of the singers Kathleen Ferrier and Janet Baker, and have CDs of almost everything that Benjamin Britten composed (where it's been recorded). Including some rare LPs of his Church Parables.

When I was young, my favorite thing ever was to help my (equally nerdy) older brother paint his D+D figures. He no longer does this, but I still do!

Erm, there are lots more that I can't think of.
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 11:24, 8 replies)
"A B3TA regular who shall remain nameless" owns up
They say that sit an infinite number of monkeys at typewriters, and sooner or later they would come up with the Works of Shakespeare.

And thussly, I worked several months in my bedroom writing up a little number called Project Hamlet for a college computer science project. It was a pseudo-intelligent prose-writing programming - a neat little bit of coding and huge amounts of data, all nicely sorted into vowels, nouns, pronouns and adjectives. Type RUN, and it would turn out page after page of genuine-looking, if virtually plotless manuscript.

With college lecturers, parents and other hangers-on mightily impressed with my l33t skills, I took the beast home and filled it with the names of every female I knew and every filthy sexual perversion in the book, and several that the book didn't know about.

Voila! Instant lesbian porn! Writhing, naked, thrusting, squirming red-hot flanges straight from the deranged mind of a teenage virgin. This was surely the greatest invention, ever, and not incredibly sad in any way whatsoever.

Karen who worked the till at my Saturday job in a shop featured rather heavily for two very good reasons, neither of which I ever got to see first hand.

The computer churned out reams and reams of some of the most disgusting filth known to man, most of which now forms the bulk of the William J Clinton Presidential Library, the greatest collection of the pornographic arts outside the Vatican. And that, dear reader, is how the letters page in Fiesta is written. I could have made a fortune from it, but hey, it was my gift to the world.

THAT'S how nerdy I am.

Shameless plug for my campaign to build twin 300-foot floodlit statues of the Minogue sisters at Wembley Stadium: HERE
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 11:23, 3 replies)
I'm a book nerd
The first ting I did after moving into my house was to put up shelves for books and CDs, and those books and CDs were the first things moved in.

Books have to be shelved in order. For example, we start with things like Gilgamesh, the Upanisads, the Bible and the Koran. Then we move into poetry, starting with The Rubayiat of Omar Khayyam and Basho's haiku, then on into Homer and Virgil, and thence moving into Icelandic sagas. This gives a linguistic bridge to Mallory, Chaucer, Gawain and so on, and so to English poetry. Shakespeare comes next, followed by other English-language playwrights; then foreign language playwrights, then critics and theatrical writers - Artaud and Bloom. Then we start on English prose, arranged chronologically.

From English prose, we work through to German literature, then Yiddish, Czech, Polish and a large chunk of Russian 19th-century stuff. Educated Russians at the time spoke French, so we go from there to French literature. French is a romance language, as is Spanish, so we go from France to Spain and Latin America. Lots of Borges. Italian stuff comes next, and then far-eastern literature.

Fiction done, we move onto autobiography, then biography, then history. After history, the classical historians: Herodotus, Josephus, Suetonius and so on. Next comes essays: Montaigne, Brillat-Savarin, Emerson, Borges' non-fiction, George Steiner. Finally, natural history and science books.

I tend to by books in bulk, and one of my favourite activities is rearranging the shelves to make way for the newcomers. Unread books are shelved upside down so I don't forget about them.

Oh, yes. One last thing. I tend to have a reading sequence, so that, say, 18/19th C English will be followed by something in translation, something non-fiction, then modern English, then a 19th C piece in translation, then perhaps a piece of classical literature. I don't like breaking the sequence. Imagine reading Fielding and Austin too close together! Heavens to betsy. That would be somehow terrible.

For some reason, my shelves still don't look quite right. The books were in exactly the right order at my old house, but there's something amiss now. I can't quite figure out what it is, and that worries me more than it ought.

I'm not an obsessive. Honest.

EDIT: if anyone has a copy of War and Peace in the old Penguin Classics format - the edition with the yellow bar at the top of the spine - and is willing to sell it, please gaz me. I don't dislike the new covers, but they don't fucking match.

Oh, god. I am bad, aren't I?
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 11:22, 14 replies)
I play world of warcraft.
I have a lightsaber.
I have all of the next Gen on dvd.
It annoys me when people call "Doctor Who", "Dr.Who".

Sometimes , just sometimes I say "on screen" when making a videocall.
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 11:20, 7 replies)
Pretty Nerdy
Have been a Role Player since my early teens. Been wargaming as long, have done all the Games Workshop stuff (worked for them for a few years), plus a LOT of historical stuff; currently working on my Flames of War Russian Infantry. I have a large collection of books on military stuff (Planes, Ships, Tanks). Have happily shelled out 100+ on an individual book. Im the irritating guy who will sit there commenting all through a film that the Tanks are the wrong colour or the helmets are incorrect. I have an almost encyclopeadic knowledge of the development of Russian and German WW2 tanks. My idea of a good time is going to Bovington Camp (Tank museum) looking at old tanks. Bliss.

I have a massive collection of old Aeroplane modelling magazines; I knew all the RLM codes for Luftwaffe colours (eg RLM 65/70/71 Bomber scheme). I knew my RAF Roundel types.

Recently stopped playing World of Warcraft (Got to L62 then grew fed up of the idiots who play).

Have a stupid amount of CCG's - Magic, Warcry, Battletech, Mythos. Have avoided the Warcraft CCG so far. Kite Jr is getting into the Pokemon CCG, Im encouraging her!

Am currently re-aquiring my NFL addiction (Buccaneers fan since 1986). I used to know the NFL Record and Fact book pretty much by heart (the rosters and major records at any rate). I could name all the starting QB's, RB's and WR's round the league. SuperBowl MVP's ? Oh yes.

If the Police ever raided me Im sure they'd have a field day with all the militaristic stuff I own. But nothing on small arms (they're just dull and sad).

And my job ? A Nurse FFS!

I have no life...and I love it.
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 11:19, 1 reply)
Hmm Let;'s see.
I collected and painted warhammer, and yet could never be bothered to play it. Just had a satisfaction of painting them.

I was never a 'cool' kid at school, nor was I a 'geek', I played football at lunch worked hard in lessons and got good grades.

I won a playstation when they came out, owned Amiga 500, PS3, Xbox, Xbox 360 but barely play them (although warhawk is getting adictive), detest people that are geeky enough to talk online - stop with your whiney pre-pubesent voices.

I work with computers during the day, play contact sport in my spare time, but if a computer needs fixing, I'm the one the family call.

So not really nerdy at all, just seem to like nerdy things.
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 11:19, Reply)
Having dinner with friends
on Saturday night, I was told off for discussing with a mate the gross train weight of articulated trucks* in the USA.

Don't really see what the problem was, but several people were shaking their heads.

*Also referred to as semi-trailers. So what's a whole trailer?
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 11:18, 3 replies)
I played the board game Talisman
by myself.
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 11:14, 3 replies)
Where to start....
I'm a Trekkie, I was into D&D and used to be very good at painting the 25mm lead figures, I've got signed copies of Fighting Fantasy books (Livingstone, Jackson and Iain McCaig) and now my new nerdish fixation is Warbook as it is with several other B3tards.

If anyone wants to join the Alliance gaz me.
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 11:10, 2 replies)
Nerdy habits
When reading books I have taken to glancing in the bottom right corner of the page to check the time.
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 11:10, 4 replies)
nerd obsessive or potential psycho
I work as a creative 'flicks imaginary foppish hair (it's actually short) and flounces'. most people seem to imagine creative types are the antithesis of nerds - or developers as we call them in my line. but i think i am actually quite nerdy in many ways. i'm not a tidy person - quite the opposite but i actually took the time to place all 200 or so of my dvds in alphabetical order then - heres the sad bit, create a catalogue in Word, meticuously typing every title, so that the next time someone in the office offered to lend me a movie we had been discussing i could offer them a choice from my complete library. now thats quite sad.

I also have a huge capacity for pointless triva and obscure facts. i had an argument over trivial pursuit a few years back and was actually accused of having memorised all 5000 or so questions. i've also seen 'Back to the Future' so many times 100+ easily. mrs spimf wont watch it with me now - even though she loves the movie because i blurt out lines before the actors get to deliver them.

obsessive - my little boy has building blocks that fit inside each other like russian dolls. if one of the set is missing one somewhere i simply cant hadle it and have to look for it.

potential psycho - i have a recurring dream i have a dead body rolled up in a carpet in my loft. ive woke a few times up having to get mrs spimf assure me i havent killed someone ages ago and 'forgotten' about it.
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 11:10, 1 reply)
At geeky gatherings....
of like minded souls, I have been known to ask people "what is their favourite operation code". I get a warm feeling if people reply "xfoot" as that is mine too!

I also have dabbled with MI (machine interface) Programming that has little commercial use, but is highly rewarding in a get-me-a-tummy-wipe sort of way......
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 11:08, Reply)
Probably not as geeky/nerdy as this is gonna get
But i purposely wait for technology to become cheaper so i can 'play' with it i browsed ebay and bought an old Orange SPV E200 knowing that because it runs in windows mobile there had to be lots of different ways to hack/modify it and i got one for about 12 i then went about installing theme generators, GPS tracking software that changes the phones profile depending on where i am in the world, registry editors etc etc.

and in later last year i bought an original xbox with a couple of games/controllers and a memory card for 18 (inc. P+P) totally unfazed about the fact that it had been out for years and surpassed by the 360 and Elite, but they are still too expensive to modify and risk breaking,

so i got hold of a copy of the hacked action replay software and hacked installed a hacked driver to my USB flash drive to make the computer and the AR software think i had plugged an official Xbox action replay memory card into it and it would then allow me to drop game saves onto it, BUT the xbox wouldn't pick it up as a memory card so before doing this i had to bodge an old xbox controller and a usb extension lead together to get the flash drive connected to the xbox it then formats the card into the FATX format (xbox own memory format).

so that done i was then able to use a copy of the original splinter cell and a hacked game save (after learning that part of the SC saves used a part of the Linux code) to install a "softmod" exploit onto the xbox to play "backed up" games without having to solder a mod chip onto the main board as well as changing the green Micro$oft dashboard to some funky custom ones and THEN despite having a load of "backed up games" from a mate i needed something a bit more retro.. so after using a "hotswap" method to install a new 180GB hard disk into the now modified xbox i then made a CAT5 crossover cable to ftp the xbox to the PC and vice versa and used this to install emulators for Genesis, Mega Drive, Master Sysetem, and SNES followed by all the ROMS i could find for the respective consoles :)

and no doubt in a few years when we are playing video games using augmented reality i will be looking at the ancient xbox 360 to play PS1 ROMS :)

(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 10:59, 1 reply)
define nerdiness
I've never read Tolkein; I've never played Dungeons or Warhammer; I've never played a computer game other than Space Invaders; I know nothing about computers or programs; I don't wear glasses or white socks; I don't use Lynx deodorant or wear a digital watch; I never liked Red Dwarf or science fiction; I'm shit at maths and sciences...

But god help you if you misuse a semi-colon or mix up your clauses in a sentence. That makes you a blithering moron in my eyes.
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 10:55, 15 replies)
When I was learning about computers
as a youth at university, I could remember off the top of my head the hexadecimal opcodes for the 6800 series microprocessors.

And if you're really geeky, you'll even understand what that means.
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 10:54, 3 replies)
When I was a teenager
I actually took the time to find the clitoris!
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 10:51, 1 reply)
To this day
My favorite board game is Heroquest. It rules.
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 10:51, 3 replies)
I am not a nerd
my mum says I am way cool!
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 10:50, Reply)
a computer science lecturer. And female.

I win.
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 10:49, 3 replies)
I used to play the Star trek TNG card game. (ROMULANS!!!) I had some rare cards.
One of the guys there had "Future Enterprise", It was worth about 300 I think.

And Warhammer 40k.
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 10:45, 2 replies)
I'm third on the QotW. That's how nerdy.
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 10:44, Reply)
I spent my lunchtimes in the school computer rooms for 5 years.
And now I spend my time lurking on the QOTW
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 10:43, Reply)
Am I....
......first? Go me!

Now some creative writing is needed to weave a tale of the geekiness that is intrinsic to understanding the enig-man that is JasperSinister.

When I was a teenaged youngster I had a tendencey to become pretty obsessive when I discovered a subject I found exciting. I would spend hours mulling over the stylings cues of Ferrari V8 coupes through the decades. I would lecture my friends at great length on the intercontextuality of Quentin Tarantino movies. When my friends were absent these lectures would become soliloquies.

But the extent of my obsessive nature was pushed to the limit by one particular TV series: Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

Was it the sight of the nubile Sarah Michelle-Gellar performing martial arts? Was it the depiction of a town beseiged by demons from the mouth of Hell? Was it the fact the theme tune was performed by a band called The Nerf Herders, and I was pleased with myself for noticing this was a Star Wars reference? All I know is after a few weeks of immersing myself in the Sunnydale universe I was captivated.

So I watched, recorded and re-watched every episode. I signed up to the official Buffy fan site, searched endlessly for spoilers and bought every issue of Stardust of SFX Weekly that mentioned Joss Whedon. I once wrote to EA and told them how good I thought a Buffy The Vampire Slayer beat 'em up game would be (I still think it would be pretty cool).

I had an unquenchable thirst for completion. I compiled lists of episodes and characters, cross-referenced them with each other to establish another list of which characters appeared in which episodes and under what circumstances.

At one point I drew a chart outlining each characters relationship to each other
then devised a rating system to determine my favourite characters, watching each episode and marking them on a set criteria: Buffy fights 4 vampires in graveyard - 7 points; Spike sacrifices self in Hellmouth whilst wearing magical amulet - 10 points.

As with all good things in life, my rapture eventually came to an end: I loaned Season 4 to one of my brothers mates and never got it back. This gaping hole in my collection somehow shook me to my senses and broke me from my Buffy-induced mania.

Oh, and I thought the Angel spin-off series was shite.

I apologise for nothing.
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 10:41, 10 replies)

This question is now closed.

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