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This is a question How nerdy are you?

This week Gary Gygax, co-creator of Dungeons and Dragons, died. A whole generation of pasty dice-obsessed nerds owes him big time. Me included.

So, in his honour, how nerdy were you? Are you still sunlight-averse? What are the sad little things you do that nobody else understands?

As an example, a B3ta regular who shall remain nameless told us, "I spent an entire school summer holiday getting my BBC Model B computer to produce filthy stories from an extensive database of names, nouns, adjectives, stock phrases and deviant sexual practices. It revolutionised the porn magazine dirty letter writing industry for ever.

Revel in your own nerdiness.

(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 10:32)
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I'm bad, but Nigel was worse.
At college we all experimented with shedding our geeky images in a gangly, slightly spotty way. I for example, became a goth, dressed in black, listened to The Sisters Of Mercy, and Fields of the Nephilim, and scarcely removed my darkened John Lennon style sunglasses, except to pop the head of a particularly purulent and juicy spot.

But compared to Nigel I was the coolest kid in school.

Nigel had acne vulgaris so badly he looked as though he'd only just survived a fight with an enraged wild cat. Ooze seeped from every pore, his hair looked as though he had washed it in butter, and his teeth were so large and prosaic, druids could use them as a place of worship.

I think he might've had asbergers or ADHD or something but this was the 1980s before weirdoes were given these illnesses to hide behind.

On one occasion he developed a liking for a particularly attractive girl in our class. She was a particularly radiant beauty, with flowing locks of golden hair, and a body that would've made a monk kick in a stained glass window.

Nigel decided he was going to ask her out, and falteringly, he half walked, half stumbled up to her in the senior common room, reeking of TCP and told her he loved her and would she like to accompany him to (and I quote) a dining establishment of her choice to partake of some comestibles?

I'm amazed my trousers stayed dry that day. I actually laughed so hard I thought I'd had a stroke.

Sadly she didnt find it as amusing and his confidence in the sphere of women was pushed back by several decades that day.

He once came to college in a T-Shirt which said "Wang" on the front. To him it was a corporate logo, to us it was a self-proclamation.

On another occasion he came to college wearing a beanie cap with a propellor on the top.. not many people laughed at that one, I think we were becoming more concerned for his mental health by then.

Nigel hung out with other nerds, as is their want, but even with exceptionally geeky peers, he still seemed to be way off the scale, choosing in the Upper Sixth to wear shorts for the entire year, even through one of the coldest winters the East Of England had ever seen.
After that I can safely say, he cannot possibly have sired any children.
(, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 14:01, 6 replies)
Stained glass
"...a body that would've made a monk kick in a stained glass window."

Fcking awesome.

By the way, I must point out (eeeeh, can't help it, this is my form of geekiness) that it's "wont" as used in the context "as was his wont."
Eeeek. Sorry about that.

*Click!*
(, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 16:02, closed)
Brainsurgerysfun
Cheerfully accepted ;-)
(, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 20:40, closed)
Hmm..
I seem to recall Raymond Chandler describe "A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window". But then I guess that makes me a bit of a geek too. Everyone should read Chandler. And Hammett.
(, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 21:24, closed)
Asbergers??
It is spelt Aspergers!
(, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 9:49, closed)
Clicky
Purely for the Sisters and Nephs reference...
(, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 19:01, closed)
chandler
I spotted that too. Plagiarism just isn't acceptable, Lunar.
(, Mon 10 Mar 2008, 12:58, closed)

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