David Bloody Jason
Not a hero by any stretch of the imagination, but..

My friend Will happens to live rather near to the aging Only Fools and Horses 'star'. He, I and another friend decided to venture forth to his estate to see if we could meet the old fellow in person.

Gathered around his front gate (excessively large, if you want to know), with a video camera concealed in Will's shirt, should we be graciously granted some Jason-time, and pressed the buzzer on it. We pressed it twice, yet no reply was forthcoming. We waited a while for any semblence of activity.. nothing.

Discouraged, we were all ready to give up (or climb over the gate) when a voice clicked into life from the speaker. The elusive Mrs. Jason!

She, sounding somewhat irritable, asked us what we wanted. We replied (respectful, like) that we'd just like to be able to have a chat with David Jason, if that would be possible. Her reply?
"Yes, well, a lot of people want to talk to David Jason". Her voice clicked off. Now highly let-down, we turned to leave, and were a couple of footsteps away when the speaker crackled back into life. Had she re-thought? No. She wanted to berate us for 'holding the buzzer down' for ages, while she was 'on the phone'. We did no such thing, and were speechless at these accusations. Besides, if someone rings at the doorbell, isn't it at least customary to give them a 'could you hold on? I'm on the phone' so that they aren't left hanging about like a bunch of lemons?

Not so much a disappointment with a celebrity than with his pissy wife, then.

Besides, Will says that his Gran was walking her dog down the path near D.J.'s house once, when his car pulled in, with him in the passenger seat. Upon seeing her, he ducked down to avoid being seen. Sorry, Dave, you're not THAT big a star.
(Nash Odyssey is a nasty, nasty man (or possibly woman), Sun 28 May 2006, 23:54, Reply)