Enough about you lot
I had a cracking weekend. Got bladdered on friday night with some good mates. Had a lie in, followed by an awesome fry up on saturday, then got some house stuff done. Quiet night in with the mrs. Sunday was another lie in, followed by an exciting afternoon of my band's CD launch party.

Was a great laugh, despite being half-cut from sloe gin before playing our second set.

what did you get up to?
( Vipros too orangey for crows, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:19, 50 replies)

I bought a Suzuki GSX-R 600 yesterday
And I can't tell you how excited I am about it! :D '02 plate, absolutally mint condition, £3,200. Awesome!

My first sports bike at 19 years old! Whoop! So far I've had a Honda XR125L (motocross style thing), a Honda XR400R (Supermoto/motocross)and a Suzuki GSF600S Bandit (streetfightered)

Have you made any purchases recently that you're incredibly excited about and what to share with us?
(wehttamman jizzed on your face on, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:04, 18 replies)

I has a candle : )
I've been here three years and it's been a roller coaster ride of laughter, sadness and sometimes shaking my fists at the internet but I've gained some friends, a greater lexicon of swear words and information on some sexual practices I have yet to attempt.

I love you all.
( big-girl's-blouse wants a spanging pan for christmas, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 9:30, 16 replies)

As I write I'm soaked right through, wrapped in a towel.
I've only just stopped shaking, and my hair stinks of seawater.
I've been trying to catch some pictures of the waves crashing over the sea wall where I live, only my crappy camera has a slight delay between squeezing the trigger and taking the pic so most of my pictures are of where waves used to be.
The last wave hit me full in the face so my camera may not live through the night.
Has anyone else done anything completely fucking retarded in the name of absolutely nothing lately?
Also: what's the best way to dry a pair of shoes?
(Theophilous Thunderwulf needs a better camera, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 2:37, 19 replies)

ok, which one of you lot was it?
Saw this outside the halls of residence at Toulouse. Made me giggle a little.

i50.tinypic.com/2ikcow7.jpg
( Jinxy13 thought of a witty sig, then forgot it, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 1:16, Reply)

are we still interested in worst towns?
I live here

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/6671012/Man-with-sexual-fetish-for-slurry-jailed.html
( PhillieJoe Being clever is not as clever as being, Sun 29 Nov 2009, 19:29, 6 replies)

Gosh it's quiet today.
What does a middle aged lady have to do to get some sapphic innuendo and breathless masturbatory replies around here?
( big-girl's-blouse wants a spanging pan for christmas, Sun 29 Nov 2009, 19:24, 20 replies)

hello offtopic
how are you today?
(penelope, Sun 29 Nov 2009, 14:46, 11 replies)

@ spikeypickle
70's white dog poo - much has been said about chewing bones and calcium build up, not strictly true; dogs chew bones tend to get at the marrow - which if anything gives them the shits. the answer is much simpler; petfood manufacturers used to be able to include a percentage of fillers derived basically from chalk. when a log with a high concentration of fillers was laid just where you wanted to try out your new skateboard - the chalky deposits didn't decompose, they just dried out in the sun to leave a ghost poo. then european law changed to improve just what you could chuck in dog food and casper the friendly crap went into hiding. some oldschool owners still lob on a handfull of bonemeal on what they feed their dogs so the fabled moby shit can still be sighted on rare occasions

before you slit your wrists from boredom consider this, laws have been tightened up no so much that the 'meat' in your donner kebab is of a lower classification than dogmeat and that there are actually people who taste dogfood for a living

sorry to link you to the mail but it is true
(omnishambles ™ has been fucking things up big style since, Sun 29 Nov 2009, 12:49, 9 replies)

My wife has just bought a chandelier.
Not just any old thing. It's a wrought iron one with space for 9 candles (the smaller church candle size). I now realise she wants it installed in time for Xmas. This means taking up the secondary floor in the back bedroom, removing a square from the real floor, removing the electric fitting and installing supporting stuff. I will also need to put up a new ceiling rose or some such.

So. What have you bought recently that has either lead to greater expense or fuckloads more effort than you intended?
(Porkylips Built for comfort, not for speed., Sun 29 Nov 2009, 12:29, 3 replies)

Un-batten the hatches and splice the mainbrace!

The floodwaters are receding.
( blaireau69 Capitalising emotions since, Sun 29 Nov 2009, 8:18, 3 replies)

Tomorrow
I am going to a power kiting festival on a very very cold beach in St Andrews. What are you doing tomorrow?
(MatJ finally got bored of hedonism, Sun 29 Nov 2009, 3:08, 6 replies)

How about this then?
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/cumbria/8384033.stm

I'm originally from Cumbria.

All that the stupid big eared cunt has done is walked about shaking peoples hands.

He owns a lot of land up there, which, I expect, is why he sympathises with the "Cumbrian Spirit", but he won't when their rent is due - tax-free to him, obviously.

He's also gone to the places that have got on National Telly. South Cumbria? No, not a word, despite the fact that it's been equally fucked.

Sending the jug-eared inadequate for a media fest is like sending a Bob the Builder puppet there. Can he fix it? Yes he fucking could by releasing some of OUR money to the relief fund.

This is close to my heart. These were my communities. You'll excuse me for being emotive.
(The Disappointed Pull my strings and I'll go far., Sat 28 Nov 2009, 21:17, 5 replies)

Geek thread.
We managed to get on the Xbox 360 Natal beta test, and running it via a PC the the Playstation 3, got it working in Home.

90nz0.com/Netal-dance-beta-test.php
( Pauly pops Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Sat 28 Nov 2009, 18:13, 3 replies)

Empire Strikes Back is on the telly
I'm about to make a hot chocolate with 100% chocolate (Peruvian or Venezuelan?) and tonight I'm off to see New Model Army.

Everyone else having a fun Saturday?

EDIT: I've opted for the Peruvian, with a small piece of blended Indonesian chocolate on the side.
(spikeypickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Sat 28 Nov 2009, 16:59, 3 replies)

Wow
Just watched twilight with all my friends. Just wow. Probably like the best thing I've ever seen. It really touched me. I really felt what it must be like to be a 14 year old girl and in lust for the first time. I'm shaking.

Oh hang on, did I say "Just watched twilight"? What I meant to say is that I've just deliberately trapped my balls in a door hinge.

Sorry about that, carry on.

And I dont have the words for this: . It makes me want to slice my retinas out.
( I have run out of coke scum, subhuman scum, Sat 28 Nov 2009, 16:26, 13 replies)

Trap Door
Just found Trap Door on one of the kids channels on Sky (Pop! Ch.616).

Have series linked it already...

(One of the benefits of having kids is that they're the perfect excuse to be able to watch Rainbow again!)
( coopsweb cancelled your train home on, Sat 28 Nov 2009, 12:36, 5 replies)

Dilemma (but not that difficult)
You walk up to a cashpoint, there's £50 in three notes sticking out of the cash slot and it's making that beeping noise. You didn't see anyone at the machine as you approached and noone is heading back towards it looking confused.

What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?
( Noely Noel people in my ear are telling me to stay calm, Sat 28 Nov 2009, 12:15, 19 replies)

I got properly tanked up last night
now I get to reward myself with black pudding.

Huzzah!
( Vipros too orangey for crows, Sat 28 Nov 2009, 10:48, 1 reply)

Facebook
For some reason, FB has decided - I think - that it's going to keep every link I post and every status update secret from everyone else. And it's not letting me remove the secrecy, as far as I can tell.

Does anyone else have a little padlock icon next to all their updates? And does anyone know how I can get rid of it?
( Enzyme is in ur [noun]z, [verb]in' ur [noun]z, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 19:27, 46 replies)

I've just eaten the first satsuma of the season. Happy Christmas everyone.
I've also bought a chocolate roulade cake for my sister and nephew when they visit tomorrow.

I know for a fact that I can leave it untouched till their arrival. Ok I had a piece but only because I really fancied some and not because I had to have some.

The amount of willpower I can muster sometimes scares me. I think I must be a genetic experiment gone wrong and then secretly given up for adoption.
( big-girl's-blouse wants a spanging pan for christmas, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 17:51, 9 replies)

Good news
I thought that I had to do a reception shift tonight.
I got up, was about to fly down the stairs, quickly double-checked the rota, and realised I'd made a mistake. That was last Friday.
I do not have to work on reception tonight!

Erm... what are you, like, relieved about yeah?
(Roo-oo-oo-ta Underling member of the B3ta 'bite me' club, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 17:14, 31 replies)

Just been told by a colleague
that one of our clients is pregnant. My instinctive reply was "typical woman"

this made me laugh, and then cringe as you can't be sure of anyone's reaction these days. oh, the crazy times we are living in....
( Vipros too orangey for crows, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 16:31, 75 replies)

My printer hates me
I know there is a simple way to print a simple character onto an A4 sheet from openoffice writer - I have done it loads of times. But my computer and printer are conspiring against me and have hidden the setting.

Anyone know where I'd find it?
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 16:22, 3 replies)

Prisoner Cell Block H
Best soap opera of all time?

or

Long running bore fest?

Personally for me, it was one of the best TV programme's ever broadcast. Brilliant characters and character development, excellent dialogue, cheap sets, gripping plots, funny AND grim in equal measures and always entertaining. Well, OK, it did kinda taper off towards the end when the likes of Bea and Lizzie left, but it still maintained a high level of watchability.

I keep meaning to torrent every episode, but even with a 10Mb connection, I would probably be downloading for years.

10/10
(cancer joy was short lived, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:42, 48 replies)

There has been some odd deletion of posts recently
someone further down the page has deleted one from a thread and I can't figure out why. Unless they were upset they didn't get replied to.
( Vipros too orangey for crows, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:27, 19 replies)

I've been playing with a puppy all morning at work.
Almost as much fun as playing with myself a kitten.
( big-girl's-blouse wants a spanging pan for christmas, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:09, 108 replies)

I am going to Hull
www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/nov/23/man-trapped-coma-23-years

Who else immediately started thinking of One by Metallica?

On a more serious, less-Hull-related note, that is quite possibly one of the most scariest things that could ever happen. An absolute horror, if you will.

/hull
(GhostAtreides is looking for additional musicians, any takers?, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 13:21, 24 replies)

A modern day mystery
What happened to white dog poo?

I think it may be a combination of changes to dog food and more concientous dog owners, or maybe little elves altered the dog food formula so that the poo only turns white at night at which time they sneak out of their little elf holes and snaffle the white poo for nefarious purposes.

What's your theory?
(spikeypickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 11:50, 51 replies)

What are you up to this weekend?
Tonight I'm going to pick up my car, eat strange curry dishes, smoke a few joints then go get beered up in the local.

Tomorrow will probably involve shopping or doing stuff around the house, joints and getting beered up.

Sunday have the launch party for my band's CD, which will be interesting...
( Vipros too orangey for crows, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 10:17, 127 replies)