i was the child who believed the story about the deaf old lady at the back of the room during ballet performances etc
over all the dulcet tones of the demure little girls can be heard my surprisingly gruff yorkshire accent bellowing: "NEEEEEEEVER SMIIIIIILE AT A CROCODIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILE".

also i had a bad habit of taking my pants off everywhere, including at the altar during my brother's christening. my parents found these family videos hysterical enough to bring out to every friend/bf i ever had.

luckily i now have sweet accent-less dulcet tones. and my knickers are glued to my arse.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 10:32, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

snailtrails

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 10:33, Reply)

I WAS 3
think of your own daughter. now i hope you feel like a very bad man.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 10:33, Reply)

I meant them being glued to your arse now
YOU NONCE!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 10:34, Reply)

it's too late
sportscow is a dirty kiddie-fiddling nonce
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 10:36, Reply)

Well yeah, but....

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 10:38, Reply)

I'd have fingered her when she was three.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 10:37, Reply)

Travis' controversial follow up single.....

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 10:38, Reply)

Hahahaha. 10/10.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 10:40, Reply)

his daughter? or me?
you know what.... neither answer can help you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 10:38, Reply)

It really was a lose-lose answer

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 10:39, Reply)

Just you
pinched like a bowling ball.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 10:39, Reply)

hahahaha!
Steeeeeeeeerrrrike!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 10:40, Reply)

i hope it's still funny
when you're in hell
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 10:40, Reply)

+with last night's deposit

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 10:33, Reply)