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This is a question Ouch!

A friend was once given a biopsy by a sleep-deprived junior doctor.
They needed a sample of his colon, so inserted the long bendy jaws-on-the-end thingy, located the suspect area and... he shot through the ceiling. Doctor had forgotten to administer any anaesthetic.

What was your ouchiest moment?

(, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 17:29)
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Pleurisy.
Quite a common condition I'm led to believe. I aggrivated mine because I wasn't aware of it.

I had no idea I was even ill. In fact - I was on top form. I'd been landscaping my garden with lost of manly pick axe work. I'd also been arsing around at the park with my kids (chin-ups are a lot harder after a 10 year and 5 stone break). I suspect it may have been one or both of these activities that did it for me.

I remember coming home and a fever coming on really quickly. I went to bed shivering violently with cold sweat pissing out of me. When I woke up I couldn't breathe. I've never had panic attacks but the feeling of suffocation tends to make one rather jittery.

Breathe all the way out - no ALL the way. Now inhale to about 5% of your lung capacity imagining that any further will feel like being stabbed between the ribs with a rusty exhaust pipe. I was bedridden for best part of a week. Every little movement causes a major fucking ouch. Getting up for a piss is like running a marathon in a barbed wire vest.

I never want that to happen again. That's why, like the dopey twat I am I'm still on twenty a day to keep any pesky lung infections at bay!

GC
(, Sun 1 Aug 2010, 0:41, 2 replies)
it's horrible, isn't it?
you feel like you're going to die, every gasped half-breath is as if you've been kicked by a donkey and, no matter how you try, you just can't relax. after a few days of very little sleep, you'd happily kill to be rid of it, if you had the strength.
when my doctor told me i had it(same as you, no warning), i said "what is this, the fucking 19th century?"
(, Sun 1 Aug 2010, 21:05, closed)
To quote The Meaning of Liff:
BRISBANE
A perfectly resonable explanation (Such as the one offered by a person with a gurgling cough which has nothing to do with the fact that they smoke fifty cigarettes a day.)
(, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 13:05, closed)

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