What's the hardest you've tried to get dumped?Groovypoodle writes, "My mate once told his girlfriend that he didn't think it was working only for her to laugh and tell him he was hilarious. Saying she was 'too weird' and 'slightly violent' and that he didn't like her was equally hilarious. Ripping off her wing mirror, throwing it through the windscreen
and storming off in a huff merely generated an apology from her a week later..."
Just how hard have you had to work to get someone to take the hint and stay dumped?
(
chthonic, Thu 5 Jun 2008, 10:33)
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The religious zealot vs. Mr. CuntIt was back in the spring/summer generally hot period of a certain year when I met Maria - for that is her name, and if she comes on here then I'm Hillary Clinton - and soon after offering her a Marlboro red and a quick grope around by the Police Station, she soon became my first proper girlfriend. Wahey, thought I. She's purdy, her ol' man is a Captain for a popular Spanish airline that sounds like Diptheria and she has a nice middle class family. Dingfuckingdong, we're quids in here!
So satisfied as I were, things went swimmingly until I drunk four pints once night (I wasn't particularly a drinker then) and she branded me an alcoholic and wouldn't let it drop. Also, then it transpired that she was from an ultra Conservative Catholic background, and would have to bring god, the fact that I enjoy a good hearty wank and the fact that I'm a smoker into conversation on an average of 3.4. times every time that I saw her. Oh yeah, she also wouldn't partake in a spot of adult relaxation "before marriage." So fuck this thinks I, and starts formulating an escape plan a la Richard Nixon from Vietnam, as this was starting to feel like hell, even though I, of course, had done nothing wrong. The strategy went like this - Tell her I can't get my ex out of my head, and I've been living a lie since I started going out with her. Nope, didn't work as she "forgave" me. What the cunting hell for?! Route two was then employed by increasing my drinking level. Again, this was a faliure as she turned a blind eye to it. Okay, the time had now come for something rather shitty and quite cruel that would piss her moralistic Catholic side off - I accused her of cheating on me!
SUCCESS!! This underhand tactic from Mr. Cunt worked as she hit the roof, called me all the names under the sun that were unthinkable to come from her clean little mouth, and told me "YOU'RE THE MOST IMMATURE PERSON I'VE EVER MET. NOW FUCK OFF FROM MY LIFE". Jobs a good'un, and she hasn't spoken to me since.
For the record, her old man was a bit of a fucktard too. He thought I was an immoral person =).
Length? She never got to find out, but she'd have been happy.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 9:31, 2 replies)
Aha..So this is the Catholic nutter.. ;)
(, Sat 7 Jun 2008, 4:55, closed)
*click*Simply for your username :D
(, Tue 10 Jun 2008, 13:32, closed)
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