Getting drunk....
in a crap nite-club in a crap northern town in the early 90's, and a fairly decent looking bird informs me that it was a fashion faux pas to wear a t-shirt under a shirt in THAT particular club. However, she took pity on me and she obviously agreed to a shag to make me more fashionable. I should have guessed....

We get back to mine, and things are going well... I'm quite enjoying tampering-her-up, and I'm starting to feel things heat up and get very wet, when all of a sudden, she pushes me away and starts some god awful wailing about why she can't and the bad shit that has happened to her previously.

Ok, she might have serious issues that she needs to talk through, but I'm drunk and in possession of a fully-cocked-hard-on, and I'm not in the mood for playing agony aunt.

I get her a taxi home.

Now then, some time during the course of the evening, I must have told her where I worked - I have always been foolishly honest and open - because come Monday, she calls the office and ask reception for me - and the fools put her through.

she gives me a huge apology, and gives me all the crap about wanting to make a go of it, we could be good together, she has been looking for someone like me, etc. etc.

Without being drunk and no longer in possession of a boner, I listen for a while, before telling her to stop there, I'm not really ineterested, that she was effectively just a ten-to-two-face that I'd pulled, and had no intention of taking out joint bank accounts, but thanks for making a semi-effort to get laid.

she hung up. But the calls kept coming... every day. I got a little more and more assertive with each call... but she wouldn't get the picture.

The line that eventually convinced her to look elsewhere, when she asked why I didn't want to continue the "relationship", it was then I told her that "her twat had the scent of rotting death". I never heard from her again, but to the rest of the office who heard ALL of our calls (often on speaker) I was a hero.

Length: About 90 minutes of physical attraction, 6 days of hassle.
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Tue 10 Jun 2008, 8:57, 3 replies)

Ooh
that harsh!

/weebl

Edit - I like it though.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 10 Jun 2008, 9:13, closed)

Maybe harsh
but sometimes those are the lengths you have to go to.

*Clicks*
(Kia Ora it's 2 orangey 4 crows, it's just 4 me and my dog, Tue 10 Jun 2008, 9:26, closed)

=)
rotting death
lol
( olivier8 (euroloon), Tue 10 Jun 2008, 10:17, closed)