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This is a question Puns

Tell us your best ever puns - get them out of your system now and let's not see them again.

Suggested by MatJ

(, Thu 5 Mar 2009, 12:52)
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Here's one I knocked out (oh-ho!) just now
It was an August Saturday that we packed the car with the camping gear and headed off for a two week holiday under canvas.

As usual, the old man had kept our destination a closely-guarded secret, except for the fact that to make up for the previous year's wash-out in Somerset, we were going 'overseas'.

Crikey.

We headed south, and before long we were queuing for the ferry. The Isle of Wight ferry. Oh ha bloody ha.

Making the most of the short crossing, I wondered round the deck and took in the views. Standing just to my right was a vaguely familiar figure doing exactly the same.

Well screw me sideways with a scaffolding pole, if it wasn't former Beatle Paul McCartney, getting away from it all for a couple of weeks in a motor home on the Isle of Wight with poor, dead Linda.

He seemed quite open about the whole thing, and said it was a relief to be able to get out and do stuff without record company gophers doing everything up to and including wiping his bottom for him.

"Look," he said, producing a scrap of paper out of his pocket, "I even paid my own way – with me own MONEY!"

And so he had. In his hand he held his most prized possession at that moment, a symbol of his independence from the mad, mad world of mega-stardom: A ticket.

His ticket to Ryde.

/coat
(, Thu 5 Mar 2009, 13:04, 4 replies)
This is so good
It makes me want to tear my eyes out, throw myself on the floor, and fucking weep.

Nice one!
(, Thu 5 Mar 2009, 14:06, closed)
All 100% of truth, too*
* Lie
(, Thu 5 Mar 2009, 15:11, closed)
But, but, but....
The car ferry doesn't go to Ryde, it goes to Fishbourne....

/coat
(, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 10:51, closed)
If I hijack it...
...it will go anywhere I want it to.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 18:52, closed)

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