There's the old classic: "if I wanted your opnion i'd have given you it"

The shameful response to the homeless guy begging for change "sorry I only carry notes" (Yes I felt a little guilty, but it cracked us up)

The time a student tried to call me stupid by inferring the assignment i'd set and the group size they had to work in was "stupid", I simply said "well I wrote it, it's my idea so you must think i'm supid" and received "Yes, see you dont like it when we speak to you the way you speak to us" (given than i'm really very nice and polite this was weird) so the kid got flashed "i'm sorry but your opinion doesn't matter to me so isn't important enough for me not to like" (he stormed out, and later wrote an apology)

but the classic, all time favourite is the responsibility of the wife.

Upon leaving work I called my wife, deciding to inform her that I would be stopping in the local watering hole for refreshment on the way home as I had arranged to meet someone there with whom I needed to discuss some business or other. She replied "You're not going for a drink" and I firmly let her know that I was. Upon reaching home she accused me of "only drinking that can of beer to cover up the fact you've been in the pub" I replied that this was not the case and she exclaimed her pleasant surprise that I had not been in the bar. I replied "No, you missunderstand, I went in the bar, and then I fancied a can as I walked up the hill, i'm just not hiding it"..... so the next night I phone her to let her know i'm setting off for home, only to receive the rude response "you're not going for a drink tonight".... now anybody who knows anything about men, particularly in relation to something a woman says, and particularly in relation to it being uncalled for and unprovoked, and particularly in relation to something that if they think about it, they want it (cue... no sex, no chips, no sports, no drink...) and have ever heard of reverse psychology, will tell you that no matter how much a man might not want a drink, or might have not thought of having a drink, you've just mentioned drink (WANT/NEED) and told him he can't do it (YOU CANT TELL ME ANYTHING AND ILL SHOW YOU)... obviously I declared that I was not going for a drink, and thanks for suggesting it. Her last gambit was "if i smell beer on your breath when you get home then i'm not speaking to you".........

"Brilliant, a pint and some peace and quiet".........

Sorry, but you cannot, cannot, cannot say that to a man!

pint and some peace and quiet
(Universon, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 11:15, 6 replies)

christ.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 14:16, closed)

I don't think
Jesus ever went to a pub
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 15:39, closed)

Course not
Jesus drank homebrew
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 17:46, closed)

Wish my woman was so kind

(yourmumonastickwithmintsauce, Sat 26 Nov 2011, 0:00, closed)

Implied, not inferred.
But here's a thought: thinking that an assignment is stupid assignment does not imply thinking that the person who set it is stupid. Anyone who thinks that it does - you, for example - would have made a stupid mistake. So if the student actually did think you were stupid, he might have been correct after all. The fact that you're mistaken about the reason he might be correct lends weight to the supposition that he is.

As does the fact that this post is utter drivel.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Sat 26 Nov 2011, 10:48, closed)

No supposition or assumption, I merely made a suggestion as a trap for him to fall into, and into which he willingly threw himself, thus assuming full responsibility for linking the suggested with the originally intended.
(Universon, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 12:11, closed)