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This is a question Devastating Put-Downs

Amorous Badger says: I once saw a former manager of mine being asked to 'sit down and let your mouth have a chance to speak' by his senior. What's the best heckle/putdown/riposte you've ever seen? (Hint: Recycled 'Your mum' jokes does not make an answer)

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:15)
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back in the day when it was completely legal to grow and own your own shrooms
had just sold some of my latest crop to one of my housemates and after he asked me if wished to partake in christening the shiny new bong he had purchased that day "verily" said i and thus was the quality of said bong and quantity of the weed within 5 minutes i was rather baked.

then came a phone call from a friend i had gone halves on the grow kit with, he had also sold some of our crop to one of his housemates and wished us to go and spend our ill gotten gains but alas his dreams of drinking beer and playing pool at our local were dashed when he saw the state i was in and after hearing my concerns that being in such a place (with a strict no drugs policy and many signs to that effect around the place) would give me "all teh fear in the world" he agreed to a compromise of cider and snacks from the off license on the way to a good friends house to watch some dvds.

it was on the way to said friends house on that cold november night that we were approached by a group of chavy young (around 13 or 14) women all dressed head to toe in the most finest titanium oxide white tracksuits that jjb sports could provide;

"ere you got any fags" one of then eloquently enquired

"alas my dear i dont smoke" i lied

and with that we parted company

until a few moments later when from down the street one of them piped up with

"like shit you dont smoke i can see the smoke coming out of your mouth from here" mistaking my breath on that cold night for a plume of wonderful yet unhealthy tobacco smoke.

within seconds and without a moments thought i replied "arent you lot out past your bedtime?"

this simple question sent them into a rage fueled partly by nicotine withdrawal and frustration at the lack of generosity displayed by the general public in their quest for fill their desire for products derived from the humble tobacco plant.

their pubescent shrieking and howling was still audible from the end of the road though and though in my own slightly altered mind i had uttered the most witty and humorous comment in the history of mankind my mate was less than impressed by the torrent of verbal abuse directed towards us as all the people walking in from of us coincidentally decided to cross to the other side of the road
(, Sun 27 Nov 2011, 19:51, 3 replies)
Lol. drugs. Verily.

(, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 8:01, closed)
Learn English, you dumb cunt.

(, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 8:54, closed)
I started to read this
but gave up. Would it have been worth the effort?
(, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 16:24, closed)

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