stupid rebound...
bit long intit?

...I was with my ex for 5 years and the last 3 years was more like we were mates that occasionally shagged but really the spark had gone and so we eventually called it a day and moved on. (There was a period that was a bit wrong where she still lived in our 1 bed flat and slept in the same bed as me whilst she was seeing someone else but we'll let that slide for the mo).

I was left horny as you like with the interwebs there to help me land another lady. I tried every single one of the dating websites I could find (apart from, and I kick myself about this often adultfriendfinder (it was too expensive...)) most of which threw up women who looked not at all like their serving suggestions on their profiles. But after a few years in the blue balled wilderness, I was getting laid and that was what mattered. I eventually tried the Guardian's dating website as I figured ladies on there might have what was lacking in most of the rest (intelligence and hopefully some integrity) but no... I was once again duped by a girl who looked proper horny (and to be fair to her she was the dirtiest girl I had ever met – recently waaaaaay out done by Mrs Bovis but at that point I was jealous of myself for the most part) but she had bad eyebrows (a definite no-no) and what could only be described as a small moon instead of an arse.

She lived far away which was ideal for me as it meant I could continue seeing my friends and having the fun I’d become accustomed to without having to look for girls all the time when I was out, with the sureity of where my next 3D (somewhat too 3D I guess) encounter with a nekkid whu-man was going to be.

Then she got me (and yes, the size of the arse and the terribleness of the brows should have combined to make me run away waving my arms in the air but I was rebounding and she was interesting. Sometimes men can actually overlook these things believe it or not) but over the course of a month or so she managed to make me feel guilty for going out with my friends during the week, or for watching a film on my own and not talking to her on yahoo messenger 24/7... basically the long distance made her massively insecure even though there was nothing for her to worry about. I knew this and realised there was nothing I could do other than stop going out, which I duly did. My friends saw me drop off the radar, my ex saw the change in me and got really worried for my sanity.

5 months in and I was experiencing all the symptoms of actual clinical depression because of her and I couldn’t split up with her, no matter how hard I tried (the distance should have made the break up easier but it made me feel bad cos I knew she liked me a whole lot more than I ever liked her, so I couldn’t do it by phone) until eventually I managed to do it (can't remember how, might have been by phone... I think, it might have even been by messenger but it definitely wasn't face to face as there would have been a slight chance that I may have steered my car into oncoming traffic - I really wasn't in a good place). She ruined my life for 5 months (and then there were repercussions that still have a profound effect on me now) and I then ruined hers for a while after.

If you’re reading this, that was the reason I didn’t want to go out with you any more, you know how I said I wasn’t ready for a relationship and then went and got married 2 years later? Well it was more like I didn’t want a relationship like the one you were offering... it nearly killed me.
(Ross McBingobangobongo bingobangobongo, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:32, 4 replies)

Well done
I feel better for that.
(Free pens 100, 101, 102 is still counting on, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:52, closed)

Well
sounds like she's the one who missed out there...
(Smale is stuffed, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 15:54, closed)

quite
yeah, i don't come across in the best light here do i?

and there was me wanting sympathy... ho hum
(Ross McBingobangobongo bingobangobongo, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 16:00, closed)

with hindsight
maybe I should have mentioned that I didn't really want anything too serious at that point and we talked about that right at the start - the distance made it so that we were going to be all cool about it, not clingy as we couldn't be as we were far away from each other... that's what we said anyway...

but yeah, it does make me look quite bad duntit?
(Ross McBingobangobongo bingobangobongo, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 16:09, closed)

"what could only be described as a small moon instead of an arse."

That's no moon, that's a space station
(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 18:10, closed)