Sheffield - the bain of my existance
It hates me. I hate it. Every time I've been there, save the first, something bad has happened. Two most noteworthy instances are as follows:

Living in Huddersfield at the time, drove to Sheffield for a gig. Had trouble finding my way out of the city center. Ended up heading out in the complete opposite direction to that which I wanted to go. This was ok, however, as my car broke down about 2 miles out and I had to be towed. Waited about 90 mins for the tow truck to come and take me in the right direction to Hudds. The guy said it'd cost £80. Fair enough, I ask him to pull over if he sees a cashpoint. We find a supermarket with a couple of cashpoints outside, so I go to get some bucks. Card in machine, PIN number in, £80 please. NO DEAL. Oh dear. Try again, still nothing, try the next machine, nothing. I know full well I have enough cash, so I call Nationwide, who tell me their servers are down for the night, so no one can draw money. My only option was to call my dad at 1am (who wasn't particularly happy about being woken up) and get him to pay the guy by credit card.

The most heinous incident happened when I was living in Newcastle, about 2 and a half years ago. Some mates and I were going to Newquay for a 4 day weekend, so I got on the train in Newcastle, went to Northampton where my mate picked me up, and we drove to Luton to stay at another mate's house overnight. In the morning we drive to Newquay and all is good. While there I book a train ticket back. I work out what time we're going to leave Newquay, approximately how long it took to get there from Northampton (minus the stop-over of course), then add 2 hours for safety, and book my train. Still managed to miss the fucker by 2 hours. So I get on the next train headed in the same direction. Due to change at Derby, so I get off there and go into the station to find out when the next one to Newcastle leaves. No Newcastle trains on the board, so I ask the teller and she says there aren't any more until the morning. Fuck. So I decide to head to Sheffield on the ticket I already have, as it's closer to Newcastle and theoretically the ticket back in the morning should be cheaper. I went to a pub in Derby for an hour to wait for my next train, and in hindsight I should have asked the people I got chatting to if they'd put me up for the night. Ah well.

So I go to Sheffield, get there about 11:50. I figured I'd find a bench in the station to sleep on or something. About midnight, however, security comes round to tell me that the station's closing and that I need to get out. So I'm stuck on the streets of Sheffield on a Saturday night. Went to get a burger because I was a bit hungry. Went to the nearest hotels to see how much a room costs (well over £100). Went to a little newsagent I found that was still open and bought a copy of Viz. Finished it. Went to get another burger, this time really just for something to do. Headed back to the train station around 3:45. The sign on the door says opening hours are 4am to midnight, Monday to Saturday. So I'm waiting for the station to open so I can sit in the warm. Around 4am, all the lights turn on. I figure someone has to come round and open the doors. But nothing. So I look at the sign again, and realise that, since I got there on Saturday night, it's actually Sunday morning, and the station opens at 7am.

Fail.

Not to worry though, because I'm about to make a new "friend". Some pisshead with a tin of generic larger who's missing half his ear rocks up and starts talking to me. The guy's hammered, stumbling about, looking pretty dirty and is missing a chunk of his right ear. Fortunately not a fresh wound, but still a little unnerving. He says he's waiting for his mate to come in on the 8am train, so fuck knows what he was doing there at that time. So I keep wandering about looking for something to do, and he keeps following me, as I'm too good natured to tell him to fuck off. He talks about various things, including his girlfriend being in jail for stabbing one of his mates, and I generally respond to humour him. He then says he knows another way into the train station, and suggest we go round the back of it.

It's about this point I realise that this is a real low point in my life, and if I'm going to be stabbed to death, this is the night it's going to happen.

Fortunately some considerably more sober and pleasant people turn up at about 5:30 or 6am, and I start talking to them. They've been to a gig and missed heir train home too, so they actually have a sensible reason to be there. I manage to get stuck into a conversation long enough for the drunkard to lose interest and go to sleep on a bench. Around 7am the station opens and I find the next train to Newcastle and say my goodbyes to my companions. All is pretty good, until I get back to Newcastle, only to find that my car won't start.

Bollocks.
( Styxx hates when people talk in the third person, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 15:31, 4 replies)

yes!
I too dislike Sheffield, it struck me as a wet, boarded up place.
( Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:30, closed)

Wall punchers and machetes, oh my!
Some time ago I was the Northern General, having my right leg rebuilt after a climbing accident. Summer of '02, during the World Cup. In my ward were among others: 2 blokes who punched the pub wall when Beckham scored, a Jewish guy who was referred to by them as "Oi! Four-be-two!", and a guy whose heroic evening's drinking (case of Stella, and 2 bottles of spirits) ended when he cuddled his mate's girlfriend and received half a dozen blows from a machete. 700+ stitches, fractured skull, broken jaw, permanent loss of use of his arm from the elbow down. Also the kid jilted by his girlfriend who'd jumped through a shop window, and minced off most his face. Also heard of but not seen was the HGV driver who'd fallen drunk from his cab while having a wank and fractured his skull.

Someday I'll go back; cheaper than backpacking and more exotic.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Sat 31 Oct 2009, 23:00, closed)

My brother goes to Sheffield Uni
Drove him up there the other month. What a bastard of a place. The road system is completely incomprehensible to me. On the plus side, saw some voyeur boobage from out of his skylight.
( Rookie You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 14:17, closed)

So your complaints with Sheffield are that you have a shitty car and can't tell the time date?
Oh and your bank close their cash machines when the servers are down.

Fair enough though, the road system does seem to have been designed by the same people who came up with Takeshi's Castle.


I think it's a great place though.
( @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 17:02, closed)