Dirty Old Town, Dirty Old Town.....
Redcar

I worked there for quite a while - it's the most useless town in Britain. I used to be woken up in the morning to the sounds of sparrows coughing.

Redcar. Population 35 000, 5 last names. It's the place where Middlesbrough send their troubled families.

Most of the residents are just dumb beyond belief. So dumb that I invented a way to get myself out of trouble when some gang of meatheads tried to start something. I carried a stick. When the meatheads started their pre-fight banter, I'd take the stick out of my pocket, shake it at them and then throw it as hard as I could down the street while shouting "FETCH!!". They couldn't help themselves. Instinct just took over and they were off, racing down the street after the stick...

(OK. I made that bit up but I'm sure it would have worked...)

I did get one great laugh out of Redcar though. While on a pubcrawl I passed a building that had:

Redcar Philosophical Society

engraved on the wall and I just lost it. In my minds eye I could see all of these guys crouching on the floor, banging two rocks together and discussing whether this new-fangled fire thingy would ever catch on.


Cheers

;
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 6:13, 6 replies)

"It's the place where Middlesbrough send their troubled families"...

clickworthy for that line alone.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 8:57, closed)

OH man
I used to go past there on the train to Leeds and imagine that Redcar was really quaint
(ignoramusaurus, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 11:32, closed)

Well
I was in Redcar recently and it had improved since i lived there 20 odd years ago.
The people seemed friendlier, less rubbish on the streets and the buses didnt smell liked they used to.
And the shopping was cheap :)
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 11:35, closed)

Hehe
Got taken there a few times when I were a nipper, so I have slightly fonder memories, but I suspect it's one of those places you wouldn't want to revisit as an adult and see how crap it actually is, and end up spoiling those memories. Much like I did with Blackpool.

I bet they still sell that ice cream that is half normal, half lemon. Unless I'm thinking of Whitby.
(Cloudane, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 13:18, closed)

Lemon tops
Pacittos they have a shop on Redcar high st and the sea front
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:33, closed)

Haha I knew it
Same spot. I think it must be 15-20 years since I was last there. Seems those kind of places never change
(Cloudane, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 0:57, closed)