Christian Fundamentalist Sex Ed
While I didn't go to a religious school so to speak, there were an adamant group of bible bashers called The Crusaders (sounds friendly, doesn't it) rampaging through the after schools clubs to give free trips to cinemas and clubs to naive students in an attempt to brainwash them into following this Jesus bloke.

Being 9 years old, they had me at the 'free cinema trips' bit. After my first outing (I think we watched Flubber. Ace film that) we retreated to the delapidated school portacabins to talk about the love affair between Mary, Joseph and the Big G himself. As is so common with the everyday talk of virgin births, the conversation shifted towards sex.

Now, we'd recently been given the speech by our teachers, who had painted the picturesque moment of 'when a man and a woman love each other very much...blah blah blah'. Thankfully the Right Reverend Rottenflange was there to shed some light on the situation.

"Sex is a dirty, shameful act of which that and pregnancy outside of wedlock guarantees an eternity in the firey depths of hell" quoth the naive preacher.

"But sir," says I "God impregnated the virgin Mary outside of wedlock, so logically speaking (never use that term around a relgious zealot. You can see the sparks flying) shouldn't God be in Hell for impregnating a married woman?"

What didn't make things better was that I then suggested that in the remaining years of Mary's and Joseph's existence there must be a fair few offspring floating around, so logically speaking (man I love using that phrase) there's a chance my great great great great (etc) uncle is Jesus himself.

I got kicked out of a non-exclusive club after one film and a 20 minute talk. I'd say it turned out quite well as a) I got to watch Flubber and b) I didn't get molested. Win win!
(FoxyBadger (try saying it backwards), Mon 29 Sep 2008, 12:56, 4 replies)

It's certainly possible
The Bible does mention at least some of Jesus' siblings by name, so it is not inconceivable (ha!) that any of us may count Mary & Joseph as ancestors.
(davywavy, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 14:42, closed)

I think that
Jesus' DNA is said to encode only His human nature, not His divine nature - so you'd be related to Jesus the man, but not to God. This was a Jesuit's response to the question of whether it'd be possible to clone Jesus.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 15:16, closed)

We can rebuild him
We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic deity.
(FoxyBadger (try saying it backwards), Tue 30 Sep 2008, 12:03, closed)

another thing religious types hate...
...is when you point out that if Adam and Eve only had two sons and one of them supposedly killed the other, then Cain (or Able?) fucked his own Momma to create us.

Thats dirty in my book.
(wrigglesworth, Tue 30 Sep 2008, 13:36, closed)