TL-DR - Should read like this
Not long ago we celebrated my father's 70th birthday in a little static caravan in Skegness.

The Caravan was a shithole, but there we are.

Being the depths of winter, meals were taken in the sites fish and chip shop, with tables perched precariously around a bird bath, allowing residents to eat with an unrivaled view of the recycling bins.
One night, the night of my Dad's actual birthday, we returned en-masse to the caravan at around 11pm. We'd put away a fair few bottles of Carling, I was drunk but not falling down drunk. The caravans was locked, so we huddled by the door wondering what to do.

Spying one of the park attendants - I waved and strode over to the them ...completely failing to notice the broken paving slab between us. I took a full, purposeful step...directly into a puddle.

As I slowly and embarrassingly pulled my Puma trainer out of the mud, I took stock of the situation. Trying to ignore the din of my family screeching in hysterics, I glanced at the park attendant, now pissing himself with laughter.

Whilst wringing out my cheap chinese trainer, the noise died down enough for the park attendant to exclaim "are you always this much of a wanker"
( Tesco Quality 60.825659, -0.788337, Tue 7 Oct 2014, 22:53, 2 replies)

^Winner^

(HairyBaldy, Wed 8 Oct 2014, 17:22, closed)

Imitation...the sincerest form of flattery. Thx.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Wed 8 Oct 2014, 22:48, closed)