There must be something I don't know about...
There are two kinds of mass conspiracy theory going on where I live, both very much linked.

As well as going to uni Monday to Friday, I work in a pub from Friday to Sunday, and manage to fit in about 24 hours there. When I work nights I don't finish until at least 2.30am, and so am not always up at the crack of dawn, and neither are none of the other staff. Every single other member of staff is either in education or has at least one other job. Yet, according to the customers, the fact that we don't jump out of bed at 7am on the dot makes us 'lazy'.

Yes - the people sat in the pub all afternoon boozing whilst we work call us lazy. So, there you have it - either:

a)There's something going on that the staff don't know about which means that the customers are all ACTUALLY AT WORK when they're in the pub (whether this means that they all have clones or are all actually paid to sit in the pub, possibly conducting some espionage we're not sure, but whatever it is, the government would be keeping it quiet)

OR

b) Being a barmaid is actually a really cushy and easy job, where you never have to hear the same shit over and over again, don't get perved on by men old enough to be your grandad, don't have to break up fights, don't have to carry people out to taxis, don't have to perform first aid on people who've fallen, and NEVER get beer all over your nice new shoes.


I think I know which theory I'm inclined to believe.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 27 Aug 2009, 18:30, Reply)