just got one from some ambulance chasers
"we've been told that someone at your address has had an accident recently"
"no they haven't"
"by recently, we mean in the last 3 years"
"no they haven't"
"try to remember, i'm sure they have"
"no they haven't"
"could i speak to someone else who lives there and ask them?"
"no, i'm the only one who lives here, i think i'd know if i'd had an accident."
"oh. have you had an accident in the last 3 years?"
"no i haven't"
*hangs up.*
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 23 May 2011, 15:39, 3 replies)

You've reminded me
"have you had an accident in the last three years?"
"yes, but I was very excited and nursey cleaned it up straight away.
(ScousersPet, Mon 23 May 2011, 15:41, closed)

arf!
got one laughing a few weeks ago.
"have you had an accident recently?"
"yes, i fell off the stage in a nightclub because i was pissed."
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 23 May 2011, 15:44, closed)

I got one of these
And got the same thing 'are you sure?'.

It royally pissed me off, I was fuming. How stupid did they think I was? Of course I haven't had an accident in the last there years. I'd remember. How fucking stupid do you think I am, I mean, if I had had an accident so bad that it would leave a paper trail that an ambulance chasing lawyer could follow enough to track me down by it I'd remember. It would need to be something like falling down in a corporately owned building and splitting my head open and waking up in the back of an ambulance like I did that time...oh...

Still, I am not sure would qualify. I don't think they compensate people for walking down concrete steps with their shoelaces undone while drunk off their face on vodka and cheap cider.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 23 May 2011, 15:46, closed)

probably not
i think the "are you sure?" is supposed to mean "can't you make up something vaguely believable?"
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 23 May 2011, 15:51, closed)

I haven't had any of these in a while - but I find that claiming to have been decapitated in a car crash generates a lot of excitement on the other end of the call...

Bonus points if you can last longer than my record of two minutes before laughing so hard that you have to hang up. Extra bonus points if, as once happened, they ring back to find out why you hung up (and you laugh a lot more).
(Nicklock, Mon 23 May 2011, 16:05, closed)

best one ever
"yes, i've had an accident! i've just tripped over a loose carpet track, running to answer the phone to you! aaarrg, i think i've broken my leg! i'm going to sue you!"
*hangs up*
*phone rings*
"are you ok?"
*laughing fit*
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 23 May 2011, 16:11, closed)