A tale of two twats
A couple of years ago I was in London, and had a client meeting at 10. My train was late getting in, but I would just make it if the tubes all turned up on time.

As a train entered the station and rolled to a halt, I was all braced to get through the crowd of passengers and get a space. But then, there was a cry of alarm at the far end of the platform. Looking, I was just in time to see a man run backwards at inhuman speed, smack into the wall and then crumple down like a sack of potatoes.

As a crowd of people scurried towards the figure, all I could think was 'You selfish twat!'. It made me considerably late, and it wasn't for a few days that I felt a tinge of concern for the man.
(chutneyweasel, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 14:03, 8 replies)

Why was he running backwards at inhuman speed into a wall? what?
(MayorBoris, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 15:35, closed)

hit by tube?

( zulu eh?, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 16:23, closed)

Why's he running backwards if he was hit by a tube? How does this make him selfish? Did he start to jump in front of it, think the better of it and get partially hit? How can he run backwards if he's just been hit by a tube? That's quite a trick. I must be thick but I'm not getting this one at all.
(MayorBoris, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 17:01, closed)

perfect transfer of momentum
something hit him, stopped dead, transferred all momentum to him, only for some reason he decided to try and keep pace by running backwards instead of going flying. like a newton's cradle without the string to keep him attached. probably.
(fat stavros, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 19:20, closed)

Are you saying the impact caused the train to stop dead?
(MayorBoris, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 10:54, closed)

not really
it would have been pretty amazing if it did. as yourself I can think of no other explanation though.
(fat stavros, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:44, closed)

Wouldn't that make him spin?
If you're standing on the platform and the tube hits you it's only going to be a glancing blow, so surely it will makeyou spin somehow? The only way I can imagine it would send you backwards would be if you stood on the tracks in front of it
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 19:37, closed)

I'm just glad you acknowledged that you are the second of the two twats.
(skrinklelada, Sun 15 Apr 2012, 22:03, closed)