ubergeekian reminds me...
Two or three times a week, I go for a swim. I'm not the fastest person in the pool - and I've never once managed to do a racing turn without coming close to death - but I'm faster than most, even if it's not by all that much.

The pool is divided into lanes: there's usually a couple of slow lanes, a couple of medium, and one or two fast lanes. I tend to go into the fast lane, where I'm faster than some, but not as fast as others. Fair enough: if you can overtake, you do; and if you get to the end of the pool, it's only polite to look over your shoulder to see if there's someone catching up with you whom you should let pass. The system usually works well.

But sometimes... well, sometimes, people don't get it. Like the guy who was in the fast lane, happily sculling along feet first about 20m from the end of the pool. Not only was he slow, but he wasn't even keeping to the correct side of the lane - he was kind of in the middle, which made overtaking difficult.

I took a breath and swam beneath him; then I finished the length, and did the 50m in the other direction. On the return length, he still hadn't finished sculling his way to the end, and I had to overtake him a second time - this was slightly easier, as brownian motion (it can't have been his own effort) had moved him to the edge of the lane. But by now he was nearly at the end of the pool, and my goggles needed adjusting, so I waited for him.

Maybe he simply hadn't seen the sign that said which lane this was. I thought I'd drop him a hint.
"You do realise that this is the fast lane, don't you?"
He had a slightly faraway look in his eye, and smiled beatifically.
"It's OK," he reassured me. "You can overtake..."

I did not kick him in the face next time I passed him. But nor did I try very hard not to.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 14:26, 7 replies)

Yes.
and?
(username failed moderation, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 14:28, closed)

^ Trying to win the QOTW via replies, are we?

( vix0r was not Matthew on, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 14:47, closed)

Just bored.
Would you like me to do something else?
(username failed moderation, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 14:51, closed)

Yes! I demand you dance like an owl!

( vix0r was not Matthew on, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 0:11, closed)

I did that once, and someone said 'everyone will think you're stupid'.
I said 'be more specific. It can't be everyone'.

She said 'I don't know, lots of people'.

I said 'That's not good enough. I want to know; I will look like a twit to who?'
(username failed moderation, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:32, closed)

Always unpleasant when someone does a brownian motion in the pool...
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:55, closed)

I hadn't made that association...
... but now you have: Ewwwww.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 21:37, closed)