Radio One Fun Pearoast
This is a Pearoast from the Public transport QOTW but it still stands as my best puke story...

I got a pair of tickets for radio1s big weekend the other week which I was most excited about! So my friend and I set off for Maidstone with a six pack each on a train which was entirely unremarkable and on which nothing interesting happened....

AHA but that is not the train journey about which I am writing dear reader! no no no! I am writing to tell you about the train journey home from maidstone, which turned into probably my most embarressing and amusing night all rolled into one for a long time!

Picture the scene: The sun is beaming down and we have each drunka six pack drunk by 2pm prior to entry and we've had a couple of doobs in the big weekend place. Our lust for alcohol is so intense that we decide to create a terrible abomination to get ourselves more drunk, the cider with white wine top! A genius idea which involved splitting a mini wine bottle between our pints of cider.

This served it's purpose and we ended up wasted. So wasted that my friend thought it would be a grand idea to buy some strange pills from the man at the dance stage, and get jiggy with it to sounds of whatever repetitive booming was eminating loudly. Of course the medecine took it's effect and dues to the amount drunk and the days excessive heat I became something of a retarded zombie, lurching around and generally making a prat of myself. Now onto the train journey!

My friend has to walk me to the station because I can't walk more than 10 steps without falling into something. We finally get on the train which is absolutely packed and miraculously we get a seat opposite each other, all is going well until I feel the need to vom BADLY. I spew a little bit over my mate and of course he does the natural thing and laughs, meanwhile everyone else looks digusted. I thought that would be the last of it but NO, I spent the whole train journey being sick into my mouth and then swallowing it back down (not to say there was not any leakage of course) Every time this happened everyone would make disgusted sounded ERR noises and made such priceless comments as:

"I really dont like can we move please!" from the girl next to me, to which her boyfriend laughed and said no.

and the dad with his young son who said something along the lines of:
"thats what happens when you drink too much and do drugs Timmy"

They were all stuck with the puke monster as there was no more space on the train, it was about as bad as rush hour.....

No one would move to let me get to the toilet, not that I could walk anyway. Of course as soon as I got off the train I painted the platform with an orange cider broth, which had stained the floor up until this week.
(Jimmy Large Is huffing Jenkem on, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 17:09, Reply)